UA-198543153-1 Eleven Madison Park - 1 Star Yelp Review - Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey

Episode 55

Episode 55: Eleven Madison Park

The Queens rate and review Amal S's UPDATED 1 Star Yelp Review for swanky NYC restaurant Eleven Madison Park. IT'S CHELSEY'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! Trey is impersonated in a BAD way, Chelsey isn't getting that burn and she WANTS IT, and the Queens have trouble with phrases concerning lids...multiple times.

(1:31) Chelsey is the Birthday Bitch!

(04:59) Lodge a Complaint!

(11:17) Eleven Madison Park Review

(29:08) Exclusive Offer

(31:56) My Royal Highness

(35:48) DONATE!

(36:23) On Today's After Show Pod


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@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald 


---

Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


Transcript
Chelsey Donn:

Hi,

Trey Gerrald:

Hello, and welcome to Review That Review.

Trey Gerrald:

We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing

Chelsey Donn:

Reviews!

Chelsey Donn:

We're just like Siskel and Ebert, only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces,

Trey Gerrald:

That is Chelsey Donn.

Chelsey Donn:

And that is Trey Gerrald.

Trey Gerrald:

And together we are

VOICEOVER:

The

VOICEOVER:

Review Queens!

Trey Gerrald:

For access to additional reviews and tidbits on our weekly members only after

Trey Gerrald:

Much more.

Trey Gerrald:

the Fantasticks anyone, then go ahead and visit our Patreon at

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, Chelsey,

Trey Gerrald:

how

Trey Gerrald:

are w----.

Chelsey Donn:

How, what where?

VOICEOVER:

It's time to get Birthday drunk!

VOICEOVER:

Birthday,

Trey Gerrald:

It's Chelsey's birthday!!!!

VOICEOVER:

birthday.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, love my birthday song.

Trey Gerrald:

Today's June 22nd, everyone.

Trey Gerrald:

And it's Chelsey's 19th birthday.

Chelsey Donn:

oh, my goodness

Trey Gerrald:

birthday.

Chelsey Donn:

thank you.

Chelsey Donn:

Happy birthday, Meryl Streep as well.

Trey Gerrald:

Ah, look at that.

Trey Gerrald:

It is just a celebrat Tori de Chelsey.

Trey Gerrald:

was your birthday going?

Trey Gerrald:

Thank you for spending it

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, my goodness.

Chelsey Donn:

I would spend it with no one else.

Chelsey Donn:

My birthday is great.

Chelsey Donn:

Thanks for asking.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, just grateful to have another year round the sun, traveling

Chelsey Donn:

Try.

Trey Gerrald:

What are your favorite things about birthday celebrations?

Trey Gerrald:

Do you have any favorite things or disfavored things?

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, you know, it's so hard for me because I was such a big birthday

Chelsey Donn:

For years, I did the Hollywood bowl every year with a big group.

Chelsey Donn:

And it's just so sad to say, but like, you know, COVID sort of canceled those big,

Chelsey Donn:

I've been a little bit more low key this year.

Chelsey Donn:

I got to say, but I think it's, you know, I think it's good.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm just happy.

Chelsey Donn:

As long as I'm celebrating with someone, I don't, I don't like to do the big birthday dinners.

Chelsey Donn:

Stress me out.

Chelsey Donn:

That's why I'm like more of an events girl.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm like buy a ticket to the game.

Chelsey Donn:

We'll go.

Chelsey Donn:

You want to buy yourself a hot dog?

Chelsey Donn:

Go ahead.

Chelsey Donn:

I get stressed out with the traditional birthday dinner, you know, like

Chelsey Donn:

Ugh.

Chelsey Donn:

God, I can't.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, for sure.

Chelsey Donn:

Do you have a special way that you like to celebrate your birthday?

Trey Gerrald:

I think the older I've gotten the less, I want to like even

Trey Gerrald:

For many years there, this is a weird tale that I could expound on in the after-show perhaps.

Trey Gerrald:

for my 26th birthday, I went to a pottery painting place and invited

Trey Gerrald:

And while I was painting a coffee mug, I booked my first television series.

Trey Gerrald:

got a phone call saying I was

Chelsey Donn:

God.

Chelsey Donn:

That's so cool.

Trey Gerrald:

And so then it became like, well, I got to do those every year because good

Chelsey Donn:

my God.

Chelsey Donn:

Now you're making me feel like I got to go to a pottery place stat.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, it never repeated itself.

Trey Gerrald:

And so then I was like, okay, I'm gonna not do this anymore.

Trey Gerrald:

And then now I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm just sort of like, man, I'd rather just like sit around and not do anything, but my

Trey Gerrald:

He loves to have huge superstar.

Trey Gerrald:

No, he loves to have huge ginormous parties.

Trey Gerrald:

He wants, rented out a bar and did a nineties themed birthday party where everyone

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, so fun.

Chelsey Donn:

I love that.

Trey Gerrald:

One year he rented out a restaurant and we did animal nose party

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

So, um, Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

so we experienced all of that on all sides, but though it is your birthday, Chelsey, am curious.

Trey Gerrald:

Is there anything that isn't making you happy?

Trey Gerrald:

Is there anything that you want to

VOICEOVER:

Lodge A Complaint.

Trey Gerrald:

about today on your birthday?

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, there is actually, so I, I love candles.

Chelsey Donn:

If you're thinking about getting me a belated birthday gift, go ahead and send

Chelsey Donn:

However, hate when I'm burning a candle, the wick is burned through, and there's still

Chelsey Donn:

And like, what do I do?

Chelsey Donn:

Am I supposed to throw away the candle?

Chelsey Donn:

Am I supposed to like melt it and make a new candle?

Chelsey Donn:

That feels like a lot of work?

Chelsey Donn:

What would.

Chelsey Donn:

It just feels like such a waste.

Chelsey Donn:

There's all that delicious sleep scented wax.

Chelsey Donn:

And I don't have any way to, to keep it burning.

Chelsey Donn:

what am I supposed to do?

Trey Gerrald:

I know exactly what we're talking about.

Trey Gerrald:

That's why I love those candles that have multiple wicks.

Trey Gerrald:

Cause it makes me feel like I'm

Chelsey Donn:

Little, little more.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

A little more secure about like the distribution.

Trey Gerrald:

Have you ever like played with a candle wax, like as it's burning and then

Trey Gerrald:

Have you ever experienced any of that?

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, I mean, I used to play with the wax a lot, cause I used to

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, well, good

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, I didn't, I haven't really done that since I was a kid, but I've

Chelsey Donn:

And it can't be lit and that's, that's probably even more frustrating.

Chelsey Donn:

Maddening.

Trey Gerrald:

Do you remember that trend?

Trey Gerrald:

Like maybe in the early two thousands of like pair friend paraffin,

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

would dip your hand in.

Chelsey Donn:

Or your feet.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, it felt so good.

Chelsey Donn:

I love a good paraffin wax.

Chelsey Donn:

Not going to lie.

Chelsey Donn:

It's always the ad-on when you're getting a Manny petty, like, and you want to do the paraffin?

Chelsey Donn:

Like, how do I say no?

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, my feet and my hands are so dry and they make you feel so smooth.

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Try since it is my birthday, I guess I will grant you one wish and allow you

Chelsey Donn:

So do you have a complaint that you want to Lodge?

Chelsey Donn:

A,

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

So today I actually have a serious complaint.

Trey Gerrald:

So I was doing some research because been taking more financial control in my life.

Trey Gerrald:

And I discovered that I had fraudulent activity on my MasterCard.

Trey Gerrald:

This fraudulent activity dates back to may of 2021.

Chelsey Donn:

That's.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my goodness.

Chelsey Donn:

That's right.

Chelsey Donn:

You mentioned

Trey Gerrald:

Today is June 22nd, 2020.

Trey Gerrald:

I have been being charged 29 90 $9 a month since may of 2021.

Trey Gerrald:

And I have no idea what it is.

Chelsey Donn:

Have you have you since calculated to see how much that is?

Trey Gerrald:

Oh no, I haven't added it up, but cause I'm too upset.

Trey Gerrald:

But what I did do is I disputed all of the charges.

Trey Gerrald:

One by one.

Trey Gerrald:

You have to fill in this thing on.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, there's a time.

Trey Gerrald:

Yes.

Trey Gerrald:

You have to, it's like transaction one and then you do the date, the

Trey Gerrald:

And so, and this has been going on, I mean, it's three pages of charges.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, my God

Trey Gerrald:

And it was like due to the number of transactions, like a pop-up happened.

Trey Gerrald:

It was you will be contacted by a representative in three to five business days.

Trey Gerrald:

So it was like, Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

great.

Trey Gerrald:

like, I have to go to work.

Chelsey Donn:

this sounds like a representative conversation anyway.

Chelsey Donn:

Truly.

Trey Gerrald:

Correct?

Trey Gerrald:

Correct.

Trey Gerrald:

So then today I was like, oh, I still haven't heard anything back from that.

Trey Gerrald:

So I called MasterCard and we looked through it and there were like, how

Trey Gerrald:

And I was like, I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

It's like three pages.

Trey Gerrald:

And they're like, you did not select two charges.

Trey Gerrald:

And I was like, what?

Trey Gerrald:

like, there's two charges.

Trey Gerrald:

You didn't slack.

Trey Gerrald:

So because of that, it was deemed not fraudulent.

Chelsey Donn:

so there, so you, so out of the, like three pages of, of things that

Chelsey Donn:

And because you miss Two, from that vendor, none of them, that is the dumbest thing I've ever

Trey Gerrald:

Because it looks like a wreck.

Trey Gerrald:

It's a recurring charge.

Trey Gerrald:

And because I didn't tag two of them as fraudulent MasterCard said, oh, well,

Trey Gerrald:

Cause they, they processed two charges, but they're wanting to charge these other 90.

Trey Gerrald:

So now I'm in a holding pattern once again.

Trey Gerrald:

And this is a

Trey Gerrald:

fraudulent charge at some company in England.

Chelsey Donn:

So this is still not resolved.

Trey Gerrald:

No.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Trey Gerrald:

But I had to, I did have to lock the car, the account and like cancel it.

Trey Gerrald:

So I got the new card in the mail today.

Trey Gerrald:

So when I was on the phone with the representative, I was like, why would

Trey Gerrald:

I have to update all of my bills if I was like trying to pull a fast one.

Trey Gerrald:

And he was like, you know, I can like resubmit this with this two additional charges.

Trey Gerrald:

I was like, Yeah, Thank you.

Trey Gerrald:

So I'll keep everyone updated, but that's really my complaint.

Trey Gerrald:

Don't take my identity,

Chelsey Donn:

How dare

Trey Gerrald:

if you're British.

Trey Gerrald:

How dare you?

Trey Gerrald:

How very dare.

Trey Gerrald:

you.

Chelsey Donn:

very dare.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't even want to live my life sometimes.

Trey Gerrald:

Why do you,

Chelsey Donn:

Especially from a queen.

Chelsey Donn:

My goodness.

Trey Gerrald:

How dare let the meat cake,

Chelsey Donn:

let them eat cake

Trey Gerrald:

ate her birthday cake.

Chelsey Donn:

and give Trey has identity back.

Trey Gerrald:

But, you know, once I feel like, oftentimes my complaints lead back.

Trey Gerrald:

to things I am responsible for.

Trey Gerrald:

I should have clocked this many months ago.

Trey Gerrald:

One could even say a year ago.

Trey Gerrald:

Uh, but, uh, anyway, I'm dealing with that.

Trey Gerrald:

So my complaint is stealing identities.

Trey Gerrald:

Don't do that.

Chelsey Donn:

Complaint heard complaint added to the ledger.

Chelsey Donn:

Try.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm sorry.

Chelsey Donn:

so

Trey Gerrald:

I hope you're able to let your birthday candles.

Chelsey Donn:

I will, I will.

Chelsey Donn:

Soldier on in your honor.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Thank you.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, should we jump into some online reviews for your book?

Chelsey Donn:

I think we sh I there's no other way.

Chelsey Donn:

I'd rather celebrate my birthday than with a fine help and have online.

Chelsey Donn:

Review!.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

Chelsey Donn:

As you know, we are your trustee Review!

Chelsey Donn:

Queens.

Chelsey Donn:

We bring in reviews from the internet that we feel need to be inspected.

Trey Gerrald:

We read you the Review!

Trey Gerrald:

break it down and rate the impact of their review on a scale from zero to five crowns.

Trey Gerrald:

It's a very Regal process that we call.

VOICEOVER:

Uh, says that given.

Chelsey Donn:

That's right.

Chelsey Donn:

What do you have for us today?

Chelsey Donn:

Try it.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

And honor of your birthday.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, my goodness.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

I have

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

a one star Yelp review.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah,

Trey Gerrald:

For a restaurant because I know you love restaurant reviews.

Chelsey Donn:

I do.

Trey Gerrald:

So this is for a restaurant and Manhattan called 11 Madison Park.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

This is written by a mall, S

Chelsey Donn:

How do you spell it?

Trey Gerrald:

a M a L

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

updated Review!

Trey Gerrald:

serious.

Trey Gerrald:

I am negating my previous glowing raves for this place solely on the pathetic

Trey Gerrald:

I have touted this place forever to everyone as one of the cream of the N Y crop.

Trey Gerrald:

You not only lost my business and that of a major U S C E.

Trey Gerrald:

But I will be sure to share this awful experience as much as the good ones, my friend and I love

Trey Gerrald:

We like to sit at the bar less stuff, but we drop some serious coin.

Trey Gerrald:

Here's the setup we walk in.

Trey Gerrald:

Can I help you?

Trey Gerrald:

Yes, we would like to have dinner at the bar and a couple bottles of wine.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, the bar is full right now.

Trey Gerrald:

No problem.

Trey Gerrald:

We can wait, we will just grab a drink.

Trey Gerrald:

We have a no standing room policy.

Trey Gerrald:

So you can't, what do you mean?

Trey Gerrald:

There are a lot of pubs in the area.

Trey Gerrald:

If you would like, I could recommend a couple of places we stare at each other.

Trey Gerrald:

Like this troll is kidding.

Trey Gerrald:

Half the people at the bar were standing.

Trey Gerrald:

Question mark.

Trey Gerrald:

Question mark.

Trey Gerrald:

Question, mark.

Trey Gerrald:

Question.

Trey Gerrald:

We looked at him and said, no, thanks.

Trey Gerrald:

We don't need a pub recommendation.

Trey Gerrald:

Walked out whisked and a cab uptown to Maria, where we were treated like gold, amazing

Trey Gerrald:

He could have offered to take a look at the bar and see if anyone was closing a tab question,

Trey Gerrald:

Are you AF in kidding me three question marks.

Trey Gerrald:

I know you guys don't need the business, but the person they turned away was a very frequent diner.

Trey Gerrald:

As I.

Trey Gerrald:

Probably 25 to 30 visits a year between us as Julia.

Trey Gerrald:

Robert said big mistake, five exclamation marks.

Trey Gerrald:

We don't expect anything more than a proper courtesy, but the way he treated us, I will

Trey Gerrald:

Perfect.

Trey Gerrald:

Weekly martini.dot dot idiot.

Trey Gerrald:

Ooh,

Chelsey Donn:

with the idiots.

Trey Gerrald:

I just have to tell you,

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

there is nary a capital letter and this entire not a single

Trey Gerrald:

Review!

Trey Gerrald:

anywhere to be found.

Chelsey Donn:

But there is punctuation.

Trey Gerrald:

So many question marks.

Trey Gerrald:

And a lot of ellipses, a lot of exclamation marks.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, my goodness.

Chelsey Donn:

A mall.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

There were a few times where I was confused as to whether or not a mall was speaking

Chelsey Donn:

They pissed them off and also a CEO or something like that.

Chelsey Donn:

Are they the CEO?

Chelsey Donn:

Are they saying like, they pissed me off and also my friend who is a CEO and

Trey Gerrald:

The person they turned away.

Trey Gerrald:

I was a very frequent

Chelsey Donn:

Was a very frequent diner.

Chelsey Donn:

And then they said exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

And then they said that they were a frequent diner.

Chelsey Donn:

So it's like, are you speaking to the third person or are you saying that you're a

Chelsey Donn:

They did like explicitly say that at one point.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, so I did do a little research on them all as,

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, okay.

Trey Gerrald:

and they are very rare.

Chelsey Donn:

They must be writes batch

Trey Gerrald:

Both and pers and, and the way they Review!.

Trey Gerrald:

So they really do not like to use the caps lock and they frequently speak

Trey Gerrald:

are.

Trey Gerrald:

So I'm unsure exactly what it is that a mall does, a mall takes lots of fancy business

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

So I do think because there's, I think the grammar here,

Trey Gerrald:

Uh, they don't use commas, which I think would help us indicate when

Trey Gerrald:

And when they're speaking of a client yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, good point.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, there was so much in here, you know, like $300 a pop, like, I don't

Chelsey Donn:

I'm really trying to separate my immediate gut reaction, which is just like, Ew gross.

Chelsey Donn:

Why are you flaunting money?

Chelsey Donn:

Like

Chelsey Donn:

this?

VOICEOVER:

It's.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, I don't think that the person should have responded in negatively and the way that, like

Chelsey Donn:

Cause they seem like they're really above everybody else and they

Chelsey Donn:

And while.

Chelsey Donn:

I feel on the one hand, be rich bitch.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Make your money like be a CEO.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I'm supporting that.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't, I don't think that you should live small, you know, if you've made

Chelsey Donn:

But there's something about this that just feels it's a turnoff.

Trey Gerrald:

It is interesting to me because it does seem that a mall is presenting a

Trey Gerrald:

So what's interesting to me is why would you not have made a reservation,

Chelsey Donn:

because they explicitly said that they like to sit at the bar,

Trey Gerrald:

but would you do that like with a client?

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, I guess I'm all done, so it doesn't matter if I

Chelsey Donn:

I guess a mall does.

Chelsey Donn:

Or like in this case, was it a client?

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, I was impressed by the two bottles of wine for two people.

Chelsey Donn:

I was like, all right, we are committing to a bottle each at the beginning.

Chelsey Donn:

God.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, it says two bottles of White burgundy, is that wine

Chelsey Donn:

burgundy wine

Trey Gerrald:

like red wines or a white wine,

Chelsey Donn:

I know that's how I thought white burgundy.

Trey Gerrald:

but you're right.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm all does say my friend.

Trey Gerrald:

They don't say client

Chelsey Donn:

Right?

Chelsey Donn:

So like, I think maybe a mall and this friend like to

Trey Gerrald:

What do you think of the no standing rim?

Chelsey Donn:

I think it's weird.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

So white burgundy wines are referred to as white burgundies are Chardonnay

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, burgundy.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh God.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

I didn't even So it's like from burgundy, it's white it's Chardonnay.

Chelsey Donn:

That is from burgundy.

Trey Gerrald:

But that makes me think that they know what they're talking about.

Trey Gerrald:

Like.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know.

Chelsey Donn:

You know, there is a certain caliber of people.

Chelsey Donn:

I think this is an expensive place.

Chelsey Donn:

If I'm thinking of the right place in my mind, like this is like a

Trey Gerrald:

it has a fancy swanky place.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

So just trying to put into my mind what can be gathered from this Review!

Chelsey Donn:

if I am, this was, you said it was one, sorry.

Chelsey Donn:

One-Star-Zinger.

Chelsey Donn:

So if I am looking up this restaurant, I'm deciding whether or not I want to go there.

Chelsey Donn:

I look to the one stars right away.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause I'm like, I don't want to see any red flags that I'm not comfortable with.

Chelsey Donn:

If I read this Review!

Chelsey Donn:

one, what am I gathering?

Chelsey Donn:

And two, is it a deal breaker?

Chelsey Donn:

I don't think it's a deal breaker for attending the restaurant.

Trey Gerrald:

It's just so interesting to me, because I think the conceit of this Review!

Trey Gerrald:

is very specific.

Trey Gerrald:

Like, I don't know it, I, I would imagine that if it is a fancy restaurant and they then like having

Chelsey Donn:

When was this Review!

Chelsey Donn:

written.

Trey Gerrald:

in 2013.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay, cool.

Chelsey Donn:

Cool.

Chelsey Donn:

Cool.

Chelsey Donn:

For a second, when you said that I'm like, is this a COVID thing now?

Trey Gerrald:

But like, I mean, I get them all his point was like, why didn't they go and check?

Chelsey Donn:

they said people were standing.

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

Do we believe that?

Trey Gerrald:

Do we think that's truthful or do we think

Chelsey Donn:

Did that shady

Trey Gerrald:

what's occurring to me?

Trey Gerrald:

Is that a mall was offended by the pub comment,

Chelsey Donn:

for sure.

Trey Gerrald:

like a lower class phrase.

Trey Gerrald:

Like, I mean, I guess.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Because it doesn't occur that.

Chelsey Donn:

It.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean like, cause the implication there is like, we don't have standing room because like we don't

Chelsey Donn:

pack them in.

Chelsey Donn:

It's just.

Chelsey Donn:

Getting the alcohol and being loud and obnoxious or whatever.

Chelsey Donn:

I dunno, like any kind of stereotypes that come along with it specifically to somebody

Chelsey Donn:

You know, even if, for me, it was like, oh, go to a pub or maybe you would be like, all right, cool.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, we should go to a pub.

Chelsey Donn:

But for somebody like this, that is like, you want me to go to a lower class establishment?

Chelsey Donn:

Excuse me?

Chelsey Donn:

What are you saying?

Chelsey Donn:

Like, uh, might not good enough for you?

Chelsey Donn:

Is my money not good enough for you?

Trey Gerrald:

Well, it's interesting to me because I think choosing a Julia Roberts quote

Trey Gerrald:

And so they get be pretentious and say, you.

Trey Gerrald:

Judge me by the cover of the book.

Trey Gerrald:

like, I wouldn't choose that character to explain that I'm Heike.

Trey Gerrald:

I actually am high class and you've made a huge mistake because I dropped $300.

Trey Gerrald:

You know what I mean?

Trey Gerrald:

Like I would, I wouldn't

Chelsey Donn:

It's an interesting point.

Trey Gerrald:

yes.

Chelsey Donn:

point in the Zeit guys as an expression, like anybody in any situation

Chelsey Donn:

And the bakery line, big mistake, big, huge.

Chelsey Donn:

I would've bought you out.

Chelsey Donn:

Like, I don't know, like any, anything can be compared to that.

Chelsey Donn:

So it's sort of like a trite thing to say in the first place.

Chelsey Donn:

Like, oh, your business is so unbelievable.

Chelsey Donn:

It's really placing yourself at the center of a narrative that feels on point for him.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I think Amal is very much the center of a.

Chelsey Donn:

And I think that the only thing that I can latch onto in terms of a takeaway that I'm

Chelsey Donn:

So that's something that I would want to know like, oh, oh, good to know.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

So if we can't get a seat at the bar, then I should have a backup plan, you know?

Chelsey Donn:

Cause there is no standing room.

Chelsey Donn:

Like that's like.

Chelsey Donn:

Good information.

Chelsey Donn:

the unfortunate thing about this Review!

Chelsey Donn:

is that it's so buried beneath just heavy piles, reeking of pretension.

Chelsey Donn:

And I'm starting to doubt whether or not anyone that was going to this

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

So I just went to 11 Madison Park's website and they take reservations for the bar.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, interesting.

Trey Gerrald:

'cause my thought was while you were just saying.

Trey Gerrald:

Is if there No.

Trey Gerrald:

standing room, I wonder if they take reservations.

Trey Gerrald:

So once again, here I am.

Trey Gerrald:

I think the value here is that if you want to go here, you need to prepare

Trey Gerrald:

I think lots of places are like that can't just expect to pop in.

Trey Gerrald:

I also think the information within this Review!

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know if it's common, is that.

Trey Gerrald:

It seems to me that a mall was offended and then wanted to publicly punish the

Trey Gerrald:

So to me, it sort of all occurs a little bit like this is shady, like they're wanting retribution.

Chelsey Donn:

Correct.

Chelsey Donn:

They're waving their money around in a way that feels very gross and

Chelsey Donn:

Like, because I'm so wealthy and you pissed off the wrong broad

Trey Gerrald:

It's also weird to end with.

Trey Gerrald:

I will no longer stop in for my overpriced yet.

Trey Gerrald:

Perfect.

Trey Gerrald:

Weekly martini.

Trey Gerrald:

Like it's weird to like stick it to them by telling them that their martini is a

Chelsey Donn:

But your stuff is great.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, no, that's interesting too.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause it's like, obviously once again, we have someone that is very emotional about this

Chelsey Donn:

You know, whether, because you know, you're too prideful or whatever it is that you

Chelsey Donn:

I think there is a bit of sadness that comes with that.

Chelsey Donn:

Like, oh, I'll never be able to experience that martini that I love or that food that I love

Chelsey Donn:

Quite frankly,

Trey Gerrald:

And I think that is echoed and using ending with the phrase idiots.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, all feels emotionally burned.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

I guess.

Trey Gerrald:

I just, I guess there's a class that I feel like I'm adding onto the story.

Trey Gerrald:

I feel like multiple times a mall is mentioning status and class and wealth

Trey Gerrald:

Like, I think you could, if you were really like, you've made a mistake, I

Trey Gerrald:

I happy to attend and I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

I feel like there's a way to express how this was damaging to the restaurant because of my

Chelsey Donn:

Oh 100%.

Chelsey Donn:

And I feel like that's something that we come across all the time,

Chelsey Donn:

Of the ones that are Review!, which is that if you go too far on the Karen side

Chelsey Donn:

Even if you have a point that is worthy of saying, it's why James longtime

Chelsey Donn:

When we read the review, it did seem truthful because.

Chelsey Donn:

James peppered in.

Chelsey Donn:

I love this place.

Chelsey Donn:

I, I, the drinks are great.

Chelsey Donn:

This is, you know, set enough things that you're like, okay, now I'm

Chelsey Donn:

Whereas if you just stay in that same bitter tone the entire time, even if it

Chelsey Donn:

Which I get, you know, like I haven't written a lot of reviews, but I've sat with

Chelsey Donn:

But at the end of the day, in order to be effective, you can't just blow the steam off.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, it off blow off the lid, blow the lid

Trey Gerrald:

I also just want to the last point here it?

Trey Gerrald:

blow the lid off.

Trey Gerrald:

Blow

Chelsey Donn:

If all the little.

Trey Gerrald:

Like mall's ending statement as we don't expect anything more than a

Trey Gerrald:

I think they use the word, Oh you know, we have a lot of pubs surrounding us go to a pub.

Trey Gerrald:

Like you can go there, like, and was internalized as so offensive.

Trey Gerrald:

But even your review about French laundry that I feel like they were treated much worse than

Chelsey Donn:

Oh yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

So it's really just like, what's going on.

Trey Gerrald:

And there's just the spelling of Sabbat.

Trey Gerrald:

I even explain.

Trey Gerrald:

It's just like, it's a mess.

Chelsey Donn:

I think I'm ready to crown.

Chelsey Donn:

you

Trey Gerrald:

it.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crowd cards and an effort

Trey Gerrald:

We will simultaneously reveal our white burgundy ratings.

VOICEOVER:

The Queens are Tabulating.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, I almost did one.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

I broke our streak of being completely unanimous.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm holding up half ground tray is holding a blood count.

Chelsey Donn:

I was very close to holding up one because I knew you were going to do that.

Chelsey Donn:

But I had a stick with my guts and say, Half crown from our QC for everything that's already

Chelsey Donn:

I just don't think it's a very valuable Review!.

Chelsey Donn:

I think it's very slanted and unfortunately it makes them all look really bad.

Chelsey Donn:

Um, and it doesn't make by proxy almost ends up making the restaurant look

Chelsey Donn:

So that's why I had to go with a half crown.

Chelsey Donn:

Why did you go with a full crown from.

Trey Gerrald:

I went with a full ground because ultimately I feel that.

Trey Gerrald:

I have now done more research on this restaurant that I'd never heard of before.

Trey Gerrald:

And I recognize to have reservations.

Trey Gerrald:

We didn't talk about this and the Review!, but it is also annoying that I'm all

Trey Gerrald:

And I really think so much of this was about.

Trey Gerrald:

Uh, malls pocketbook rather than restaurant itself.

Trey Gerrald:

So I went with one because I learned you need a reservation otherwise.

Trey Gerrald:

Wow.

Trey Gerrald:

But I ha I do think them all is hilarious and they are w there's a wealth of hilarious reviews.

Trey Gerrald:

So maybe in a year when we do repeat offenders again, I will come back within

Chelsey Donn:

Or whenever you want, you know, we don't need to have a special

Chelsey Donn:

Try anytime.

Chelsey Donn:

You'd like, you want to bring another I'm all in.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm ready to let.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

I love that.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, we have reached the most Regal portion of our show Chelsey.

Trey Gerrald:

Who are you inducting today for?

VOICEOVER:

My Royal

VOICEOVER:

Highness!

Chelsey Donn:

Thanks for asking Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

So today I'm going to induct Venmo and Zelle just because.

Chelsey Donn:

What did we do before Venmo and Zelle?

Chelsey Donn:

I remember there were so many occasions where I would go out with like a girlfriend or somebody

Chelsey Donn:

I'll pay you back.

Chelsey Donn:

And then you would never get paid back.

Chelsey Donn:

fact that that can't happen anymore, that like nobody can ever just try to skimp out

Chelsey Donn:

Is such a gift that would never have happened without Venmo and now Zelle,

Chelsey Donn:

But really Venmo, I think, took the lip, you know, broke the lid up.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't guys, why are these expressions with lids?

Chelsey Donn:

Um, but yeah, lids, but which will be another thing, but no, I mean, Venmo really

Chelsey Donn:

Do things together and not have to make servers crazy, certainly by

Chelsey Donn:

So much of our lives have been made easier by these money, digital transfers, um, like Venmo.

Chelsey Donn:

And for that reason, I wanted to nominate Venmo as My Royal Highness.

Trey Gerrald:

It's a really good induction.

Trey Gerrald:

I remember when I first moved to the north from the south where, and the south

Trey Gerrald:

And they would, but then you would New York and they're like, we won't split it more than.

Trey Gerrald:

So then it was like, there was, there was a time what are we going to do?

Trey Gerrald:

What are we going to do?

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like, do you have cash?

Chelsey Donn:

You have hash.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know if cash.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like a whole

Trey Gerrald:

much easier.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

And because it's instant,

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

It's incent.

Chelsey Donn:

Zell's great.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause Zell's really instant.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean I've yeah, it's sell makes it really easy, but yeah, I, I'm not longing for a day

Trey Gerrald:

I remember when I first moved to New York and I needed, I was short for my rant.

Trey Gerrald:

And I remember having to go to a bodega to get a Western union

Chelsey Donn:

my God.

Chelsey Donn:

Exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

Can you imagine if she could have just held you?

Trey Gerrald:

I wonder if Western union even exists anymore, It has to.

Chelsey Donn:

does.

Chelsey Donn:

It definitely does.

Trey Gerrald:

But I wonder if it's going to cease to exist at a certain point,

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know.

Chelsey Donn:

I feel like there's always going to be people that need that kind of thing.

Trey Gerrald:

but like when was the last time you got a phone book?

Chelsey Donn:

Last time I had a phone book, do they even print phone books anymore?

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

Cause that's something you would think.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, there's gotta be people that like still use phone

Trey Gerrald:

books, but when was the time you saw one?

Trey Gerrald:

I haven't seen one.

Chelsey Donn:

You're right.

Chelsey Donn:

So maybe it will become obsolete.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm sure everything will be, I mean, I'm sure money itself printed is going to become

Trey Gerrald:

I'm kind of ready.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's do it.

Chelsey Donn:

yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Wow.

Chelsey Donn:

mean, I guess in that, at that point, just invest it all in gold and if you're paranoid,

Trey Gerrald:

Well, we did at queen that is another round on the argue and

Chelsey Donn:

Yes, what a great birthday celebration.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you for joining me for my birthday today.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you for listening to the show.

Chelsey Donn:

If you enjoy what you hear, please tell a friend.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Give, give me a little birthday gift.

Chelsey Donn:

Share the podcast with that person that you told you would share it with.

Chelsey Donn:

And then you forgot to text them.

Chelsey Donn:

Just go ahead and share the podcast, please,

Trey Gerrald:

And if you didn't like what you heard telling enemy, please.

Trey Gerrald:

give Chelsey a little birthday gift.

Trey Gerrald:

Go ahead and tell that into me that you said you were in a towel, but then you forgot.

Trey Gerrald:

And then you did answer.

Trey Gerrald:

Go ahead and do it.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

If you'd like to support the production of our show, which the show is completely self

Trey Gerrald:

Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date

Chelsey Donn:

Or a hit up our voicemail box 1 8 5 0 REVIEW 0.

Chelsey Donn:

You can follow us on all the socials at @TheReviewQueens.

Chelsey Donn:

And I'm at @ChelseyBD and that's Chelsey with a Y.

Trey Gerrald:

And I'm at @TreyGerrald.

Chelsey Donn:

On today's after show pod, we are rating and reviewing a five star review

Chelsey Donn:

stay tuned for that.

Trey Gerrald:

It's a blue for you.

Chelsey Donn:

I know a friend did send this to me,

Trey Gerrald:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

read it.

Chelsey Donn:

I know.

Chelsey Donn:

So if, if you want to find out what made Trey say

Trey Gerrald:

She wants the good Juju for her, for JJ, with that pleasure, passion, lib.

Trey Gerrald:

And if you want to find out what made Chelsey say

Chelsey Donn:

great for nursing homes.

Trey Gerrald:

Then join our Patreon over@Patreon.com slash Review That Review

Chelsey Donn:

That's true.

Trey Gerrald:

and happy birthday to Chelsey.

Trey Gerrald:

And for Chelsey's birthday gift, please remember

Chelsey Donn:

Ignore the haters.

Chelsey Donn:

You're a queen.

Trey Gerrald:

gender nonspecific, Chelsey Donn birthday gift Yellowpages Western union, a mall.

Trey Gerrald:

Birthday queen.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

Bring me that $300 burgundy queen.

Trey Gerrald:

bye.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review is an independent podcast, certain names have been

VOICEOVER:

Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing

VOICEOVER:

with voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky.

VOICEOVER:

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe

Trey Gerrald:

Bye

Chelsey Donn:

If we had a Review That Review candle, what do you think it would be?

Trey Gerrald:

Irish pub.

Chelsey Donn:

I Irish Pub!

Chelsey Donn:

I think it would be $300 burgundy, personally.

Trey Gerrald:

We should do both,

Chelsey Donn:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, we should see which one sells better.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

I feel like I would just want the $300 white burgundy can't!'

Chelsey Donn:

But maybe the Irish pub smells delicious.

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
A comedy podcast dedicated to rating & reviewing online reviews!

About your hosts

Profile picture for Trey Gerrald

Trey Gerrald

Actor | Writer | Human-Person
Review Queen 👑
Profile picture for Chelsey Donn

Chelsey Donn

Actress | Comedian | Writer
Review Queen 👑