UA-198543153-1 68 - Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey

Episode 68

Episode 68: College Dining Hall 1 vs. 5 Stars

The Queens decide who’s view wins as they compare a 1 Star Yelp Review against a 5 Star for the EVK Dining Hall at the University of Southern California in another Special Edition VERSUS Episode. The Queens dig into Ben & Jerry's flavors, Trey needs you to know if there are errors, it was speech to text, Chelsey is going to call you and you listen when it’s convenient, and the Olsen twins are still busy. Street Fighting Mathematics!

Check out the funny podcast: “What The Hell Was That?”

(05:32) Lodge a Complaint!

(15:01) EVK Dining Hall at USC

(18:08) 1 Star Review

(35:50) Exclusive Offer

(36:51) Professor or Kvetcher?

(44:54) 5 Star Review

(59:03) My Royal Highness

(01:04:20) DONATE!

(01:04:52) On Today's After Show Pod


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Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.


Transcript
VOICEOVER:

Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian and Virginian.

VOICEOVER:

It's so hot to tell who to Hulu, Someone's gotta settle the score.

VOICEOVER:

Trey and Chelsey will help

VOICEOVER:

which one hates

VOICEOVER:

Baby, it's time to Review That.

VOICEOVER:

Review!.

Chelsey Donn:

Hello.

Trey Gerrald:

Hi, and hello listeners.

Trey Gerrald:

Welcome once again, to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing

Chelsey Donn:

reviews were just like Cisco and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic

Trey Gerrald:

mm-hmm that voice was Chelsey Donn.

Chelsey Donn:

that voice was Trey Gerrald.

Trey Gerrald:

Our voices together, create that little dust bunny that we like to call

VOICEOVER:

The review Queens.

Chelsey Donn:

That's

Trey Gerrald:

Cheerio, Queens and

Chelsey Donn:

Queens

Trey Gerrald:

Cheerio to all of our Patreon members who have exclusive access to

Chelsey Donn:

so much Mo

Trey Gerrald:

so if you wanna join them, why Donn don't you go visit our Patreon page?

Trey Gerrald:

You can find that at Patreon dot com slash Review That Review, or just go to our

Trey Gerrald:

How are you?

Chelsey Donn:

I'm good.

Chelsey Donn:

Everything's good.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm hoping Goldie's gonna make it through this recording.

Chelsey Donn:

She's a little feisty.

Chelsey Donn:

She was doing a little ankle biting before we got started.

Chelsey Donn:

So hoping for the best.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, as Mariah, once sang, you can make it through the rain.

Chelsey Donn:

Exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

Exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

How's

Trey Gerrald:

Donn know girl, I was asleep, passed out

Chelsey Donn:

Wow.

Chelsey Donn:

Welcome.

Trey Gerrald:

I woke up about 10 minutes ago when I texted you and said, this time's still good.

Trey Gerrald:

And you actually said, yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

So I was like, okay, I have to get up.

Trey Gerrald:

So here I am.

Trey Gerrald:

That's why I had to restart the beginning.

Trey Gerrald:

That's why I said something about dust bunnies.

Trey Gerrald:

It's gonna be a fun show.

Chelsey Donn:

at least you're rested, right?

Trey Gerrald:

I think, I don't know.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm kind of, sort of like out of sorts.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm like, am I still asleep?

Chelsey Donn:

you could still be asleep.

Chelsey Donn:

This could all be a simulation who knows

Trey Gerrald:

This is a

Chelsey Donn:

this is a dream.

Chelsey Donn:

This is a dream.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, while you're dreaming, do you, were you thinking of like things that

Chelsey Donn:

No.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know why I just put chocolate covered all in

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, I do.

Chelsey Donn:

Cuz they're

Trey Gerrald:

Something's something's really off what's happening.

Trey Gerrald:

No, I, it was really like a power nap, so I don't think I actually was sleeping or

Chelsey Donn:

you didn't dream.

Trey Gerrald:

I didn't dream, but I've recently discovered Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

Trey Gerrald:

I know that like that has existed and like, I'm way behind.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm just not a sweets person.

Trey Gerrald:

We've talked about a

Chelsey Donn:

well what flavor specifically?

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I realize that Ben and Jerry's will deliver to your house.

Trey Gerrald:

Did you know

Chelsey Donn:

Wow.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, I mean, not everywhere, but like, like, is it like a Ben and Jerry's

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

It's like a, yes.

Trey Gerrald:

I didn't know this existed.

Trey Gerrald:

I thought it was just like packaged ice cream.

Chelsey Donn:

There is a storefront right next to like where I was living at NYU

Chelsey Donn:

And I think on your birthday, you got a free scoop.

Trey Gerrald:

that sounds.

Trey Gerrald:

There was like a storefront on the upper west side when we lived there.

Trey Gerrald:

And I ordered there a couple of times, but it's intimidating.

Trey Gerrald:

It's hard to start Ben.

Trey Gerrald:

And Jerry's because as you just asked, like, what's the flavors you're talking about because

Trey Gerrald:

So then you have to like Google the contents.

Trey Gerrald:

It's like, just give me vanilla.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm not a very flavory person, but I'll tell you in the last week I, when you order from

Trey Gerrald:

So it's like, I'm sure I don't think it's made in that store, but there's

Trey Gerrald:

Like when you open the lid and it's like, not frozen crazy, like when you buy it

Chelsey Donn:

Is it in the Ben and Jerry's packaging or is it in like a cup?

Trey Gerrald:

no, it's in like their like packaging, but it doesn't have like, obviously

Trey Gerrald:

So then there's a little white sticker and they like write it with a fun colored Sharpie.

Trey Gerrald:

My favorite flavor is coffee, coffee buzz, buzz.

Chelsey Donn:

that sounds right for you.

Trey Gerrald:

God.

Trey Gerrald:

It's

Chelsey Donn:

I love America dream.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So, well, tell me,

Chelsey Donn:

It's vanilla base for sure.

Chelsey Donn:

And then it has pieces of like chocolate covered waffle cone inside of it.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

It's so freaking good.

Trey Gerrald:

I can actually tell you where my discovery came because I was bored a couple

Chelsey Donn:

Sure.

Trey Gerrald:

And they were like interviewing the taste tester for, at Ben.

Trey Gerrald:

And Jerry's, it was like this like 70 year old man.

Trey Gerrald:

He has a gold plated spoon and they were like talking through how they like

Trey Gerrald:

But, um, I think that's probably what put it in my head, which is

Trey Gerrald:

I just realized that anyway, we got into this tangent, but you were asking me

VOICEOVER:

Lodge Complaint.

Chelsey Donn:

okay.

Trey Gerrald:

It happened to you today.

Trey Gerrald:

And I, as I was going through it, I was like, oh, this is absolutely my Complaint.

Trey Gerrald:

For later, I have to Lodge a Complaint against speech to text translations.

Trey Gerrald:

I was texting with Chelsey this afternoon while driving, but safely, I was

Trey Gerrald:

And so, you know, it's like, you speak free will, and then like, it like is circling

Trey Gerrald:

But it's like sometimes a couple of words are off or like, it doesn't understand when you paused

Trey Gerrald:

So then it's just like all of a sudden you keep going.

Trey Gerrald:

And then, and it's like, what?

Trey Gerrald:

Or I was texting to David and I said, oh, I was like, there's debris everywhere.

Trey Gerrald:

And.

Trey Gerrald:

When it read back what it was sending him.

Trey Gerrald:

It said strawberries like it, that, and then I had this like thing, like, okay,

Trey Gerrald:

Cuz then he is gonna be like, don't text and drive.

Trey Gerrald:

So then I would have to be like, that's me talking through the speech to text feature

Trey Gerrald:

And I was texting with you.

Trey Gerrald:

And then I was like, I sent like four texts in a row and I was like, I

Chelsey Donn:

you're like the reason I'm sending you these things in a row.

Trey Gerrald:

And then you're just like, Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Or what, like, that's not even what you said, but it's like, anyway, I'm just really

Trey Gerrald:

And it's just so stressful and frustrating because it's annoying your I'm someone

Trey Gerrald:

And it seems like it's just inevitable.

Trey Gerrald:

And I, I don't like that, cuz I can't, you can't rely on a robot to be a human.

Trey Gerrald:

And I think that's a tricky, that's a tricky route.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Anyway.

Trey Gerrald:

Do you have any experience here?

Trey Gerrald:

It's really frustrating to me.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, I do.

Chelsey Donn:

And like, so the thing is I, I find it very distracting to be driving and concerned

Chelsey Donn:

Because of that, like, I am gonna have to check it.

Chelsey Donn:

So I that's, I mean, you know, this, I am a caller for that reason, because if I'm driving,

Chelsey Donn:

Like, as if they're like accosted, like I'm attacking them because I'm

Chelsey Donn:

If I call you and you're busy, you are under zero obligation to reply.

Chelsey Donn:

In fact, if I'm leaving you a voicemail, you're on zero obligation to acknowledge

Chelsey Donn:

Cause I understand that that's like easier just to read real quick, but why are we acting like you're

Chelsey Donn:

Like, I feel like this was really became a millennial thing.

Chelsey Donn:

Like older generations don't have as much of a problem with this, but starting from

Chelsey Donn:

It's like, it's become very acceptable to hate on people who call and leave voicemails.

Chelsey Donn:

Why.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

I feel like there is that, um, cultural statement.

Trey Gerrald:

It's like this could have been an email or whatever, but it is funny because I had the

Trey Gerrald:

I'll just call you.

Trey Gerrald:

I had the impulse to say, well, friendship over, but I don't know how, if I actually really feel

Chelsey Donn:

like,

Trey Gerrald:

like,

Chelsey Donn:

a, that's also like go to therapy and work that out with your therapist.

Chelsey Donn:

If you really feel like a phone call is a costing, you that's like a bigger issue.

Chelsey Donn:

I think people really do feel that way though.

Trey Gerrald:

Do you have people that just call you that you wish would not?

Chelsey Donn:

no, I don't.

Chelsey Donn:

Cuz I am like fine with the phone.

Chelsey Donn:

And I think that my fellow friends that are fine with the phone are gonna call me and they're gonna

Chelsey Donn:

And this person does not like it.

Chelsey Donn:

If I call them without giving them like huge, fair warning, like there's

Chelsey Donn:

And for me, that's anxiety inducting, because that means if I'm working with

Chelsey Donn:

Things are going on.

Chelsey Donn:

I have a thought about something while I'm driving or whatever it is.

Chelsey Donn:

I need to pull over to text message you that thing, because if I just call you and like,

Chelsey Donn:

Like, I need to reserve the time to call you.

Chelsey Donn:

And I just think it's crap.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, I think there are limits.

Chelsey Donn:

I think we don't call anybody before 10:00 AM.

Chelsey Donn:

We don't call anybody after 10:00 AM.

Chelsey Donn:

10:00 PM.

Chelsey Donn:

Sorry.

Chelsey Donn:

You know, if it's especially a business like or work related thing.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

So I think that there's etiquette certainly, but I think to like blanket

Chelsey Donn:

I Donn don't do whatever.

Chelsey Donn:

And like you're in a working relationship with other people.

Chelsey Donn:

How is that acceptable?

Chelsey Donn:

I think it's crazy.

Chelsey Donn:

Quite frankly.

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsea's not talking about me just FYI.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm definitely not talking about Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm talking about someone else.

Trey Gerrald:

Every time you kept saying that, I was like, I wonder if people

Trey Gerrald:

I wonder if it's all around some sort of interest and boundaries.

Trey Gerrald:

Because when I think back to when we only had rotary phones, you had to answer

Trey Gerrald:

We didn't even have voicemails at a certain time in history.

Trey Gerrald:

And now it's like you have 24 hour access to any human being with texting or emailing or calling.

Trey Gerrald:

So even voice memos, we are, oh, Natalie who sings a theme song.

Trey Gerrald:

She loves to leave a voice memo, which is also like, that's actually

Chelsey Donn:

interesting.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause I thought maybe I could do the voice memo while driving, but actually

Chelsey Donn:

You can do that.

Trey Gerrald:

hard, right?

Chelsey Donn:

So, like, I don't know why the voice memos were okay.

Chelsey Donn:

But the voicemails weren't, that's a whole nother thing.

Chelsey Donn:

But the thing about the voice memo is that like it is for me, it's like you can't unread

Chelsey Donn:

So that's kind of its own annoyance.

Trey Gerrald:

I hear that.

Chelsey Donn:

the point is I don't like write any of the forms off, I think use your form.

Chelsey Donn:

It's up to me in terms of the boundaries thing.

Chelsey Donn:

And this is the last thing I'll say about it.

Chelsey Donn:

Cause obviously I'm getting heated, but in terms of the boundary thing, I'm all

Chelsey Donn:

I just don't understand why we think it's a boundary crosser.

Chelsey Donn:

For me to call you or leave a voicemail.

Chelsey Donn:

It is within your right as a boundary holder to not listen to that voicemail right away or not

Chelsey Donn:

But there's nothing to do with me breaking your boundary by making a phone call, especially

Trey Gerrald:

It is interesting, cuz in my relationship with David, he feels the same

Trey Gerrald:

But like even today he called me and I didn't answer it because I was trying to

Trey Gerrald:

I was like, well, he'll call a second time.

Trey Gerrald:

But, and that you really got heated and that wasn't even your written down Complaint for

Chelsey Donn:

It's on the list.

Chelsey Donn:

Certainly it's on the list.

Chelsey Donn:

It wasn't the one I was gonna do today, but then when you got started, I was just

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, well,

Chelsey Donn:

Well, now that we're so hot and bothered

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's talk about hot things or things that are, should be hot, but aren't, that sounds like,

Chelsey Donn:

Sure.

Trey Gerrald:

but let's do it.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's jump in.

Trey Gerrald:

Should we let's go

Chelsey Donn:

we should, uh, oh, it's a versus episode.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's do it.

VOICEOVER:

Assess that Kvetch.

Trey Gerrald:

today?

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsey and I are going to cover a One-Star-Zinger and a five star on the same topic.

Trey Gerrald:

Today's topic is the USC dining hall.

Chelsey Donn:

That's right.

Chelsey Donn:

All you college kids who are now back in school right now for this versus episode, Trey selected

Chelsey Donn:

So to determine who rates first, we gotta flip that quota.

Chelsey Donn:

I think it's my turn to guess.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

So you ready?

Chelsey Donn:

All right, I'm gonna go with heads.

Trey Gerrald:

It's tales.

Trey Gerrald:

I feel like I've gone first, the last 19 episodes.

Chelsey Donn:

fine.

Chelsey Donn:

That's what the universe wanted.

Chelsey Donn:

So Trey is gonna go first.

Chelsey Donn:

So today we're covering, as Trey mentioned.

Chelsey Donn:

A USC dining hall.

Chelsey Donn:

This particular dining hall is called EVK, which stands for everybody's kitchen dining

Chelsey Donn:

According to the USC website, everybody's kitchen offers home style favorites made

Chelsey Donn:

They offer monthly theme nights where they transform the dining room, bring in entertainment

Chelsey Donn:

What are you just, mm.

Trey Gerrald:

I just said mm-hmm but okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Each residential community is anchored by an all you care to eat D venue, offering

Chelsey Donn:

At the time of this recording, the EVK dining hall has 34 Yelp reviews with an

Chelsey Donn:

So right down the middle, it has not been claimed on Yelp by USC.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

So with all this background info in mind, well, before we jump in, I just wanna

Chelsey Donn:

Trey?

Trey Gerrald:

I did my freshman year of college, but never after that.

Trey Gerrald:

What about you?

Chelsey Donn:

same.

Chelsey Donn:

And I think that like that all you can you care to dying thing again?

Chelsey Donn:

Not that I'm like, like pointing any fingers, but the whole freshman 15

Trey Gerrald:

Mmm.

Chelsey Donn:

Cuz I Donn, Donn don't think that like we're supposed to just be

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know it was, it was dangerous for me cuz there was a dining hall in my freshman.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, it's interesting to me, cuz my memory is that it's all you can eat and it's

Chelsey Donn:

Care to eat.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, I think they're trying to say like, you don't have to eat at

Trey Gerrald:

In these certain hours.

Chelsey Donn:

exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

Ugh.

Chelsey Donn:

It was dangerous, but it was, it was clutch anyway with all that background in front of mine.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm so curious to hear what this One-Star-Zinger has to say, Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

So let's, let's jump right in.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's do it.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

Trey Gerrald:

Alrighty.

Trey Gerrald:

So yes, I today have the One-Star-Zinger Yelp review for the EVK, which

Chelsey Donn:

I know Everybody's it's funny, but yeah,

Trey Gerrald:

I think it would be BK.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, whatever who cares.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, so today is One-Star-Zinger is written by J dot CT.

Trey Gerrald:

So I guess it's Jesus Christ, everyone

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, yes.

Chelsey Donn:

So did he go to USC?

Trey Gerrald:

guess so.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So this is JCS One-Star-Zinger Yelp review for the EVK dining hall at USC.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's hear it.

Trey Gerrald:

Keep it simple.

Trey Gerrald:

Is the motto placed prominently on the wall of everybody's kitchen, a less than

Trey Gerrald:

At first, I thought, keep it simple meant this was the place to go for the basics while

Trey Gerrald:

Et cetera, simple cooked vegetables, several types of meat, a concept I happen to like as time

Trey Gerrald:

Chiefly minimum effort, meaning only cooking, good, fresh food.

Trey Gerrald:

When a lot of visiting students or parents are on campus or keeping it to simple,

Trey Gerrald:

Nice and cold.

Trey Gerrald:

My confusion is furthered by the seeming lack of ability to fund better quality food in this

Trey Gerrald:

It well represents the USC practice of spending on any and all things that make it look good,

Trey Gerrald:

Fight on.

Chelsey Donn:

okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Alright.

Chelsey Donn:

Jesus Christ JC.

Chelsey Donn:

Um, I wish they had given us more information about the caterpillar incident, cuz it's like

Chelsey Donn:

I sort of wanted to know like, is this a regular thing there's like constantly caterpillars

Trey Gerrald:

time

Chelsey Donn:

This is like not the best food.

Chelsey Donn:

And one time I have this situation, I, I know that this isn't really a part of the

Chelsey Donn:

Did you know that dining halls across America certainly put laxatives in the food

Trey Gerrald:

What now?

Chelsey Donn:

as a safety precaution?

Chelsey Donn:

Because so many people, like let's say there was a, some sort of like out

Chelsey Donn:

They can't afford for like that many people to get sick.

Chelsey Donn:

So they put laxatives in the food so that it works through the system faster.

Chelsey Donn:

And you have less of a chance of getting sick.

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, my word.

Trey Gerrald:

That's such an American concept.

Chelsey Donn:

Isn't it such a American problem solving.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I agree.

Trey Gerrald:

I agree with the thoughts here about needing a little more detail

Trey Gerrald:

This is sort of not helpful for us to write this review, but I will tell you in reading

Chelsey Donn:

that's crazy.

Trey Gerrald:

bar.

Chelsey Donn:

Wow.

Trey Gerrald:

weird.

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

That is weird.

Chelsey Donn:

I do know that like, when I go to the farmer's market and stuff, sometimes

Trey Gerrald:

But that's outside.

Chelsey Donn:

yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

And that's very fresh.

Trey Gerrald:

It's a

Chelsey Donn:

cuz it's fresh and it's like on, off the farm and they don't

Chelsey Donn:

So I don't know.

Chelsey Donn:

That's

Trey Gerrald:

But that's different though, Chelsey, because you're gonna

Chelsey Donn:

wash it

Trey Gerrald:

It's not like putting it on a plate to fork,

Chelsey Donn:

You're right.

Chelsey Donn:

That's this is like we should be serving.

Chelsey Donn:

I thought it was an interesting.

Chelsey Donn:

Note that they like really spruce up the dining hall for the parents and prospective students.

Trey Gerrald:

Mm-hmm

Chelsey Donn:

something I wouldn't have really thought of, but I do think that

Chelsey Donn:

Like, I just think that's such a weird thing to be in the dining hall and be like,

Chelsey Donn:

Must be, uh, prospective students, you know, touring the school or something like that.

Chelsey Donn:

Like I just think it's interesting to change the menu for that, but it makes sense, I guess.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, it's, it's also, I wanna point out here, like this is sort of spelling

Trey Gerrald:

To me, it feels like they got a thesis statement by like looking around and they're like, Hmm, it's

Trey Gerrald:

I'm gonna structure this five paragraph essay around,

Chelsey Donn:

the concept of keep it simple.

Trey Gerrald:

and I'm gonna keep bringing it back up.

Trey Gerrald:

And the vocabulary words are very rich in this and they use a lot of dashes, a lot of commas.

Trey Gerrald:

They really are adding, supporting evidence minus more details about the caterpillar.

Trey Gerrald:

But I like that they circle back and bring up the caterpillar one last time.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes.

Trey Gerrald:

It really does read pretty and it feels like I felt nice reading it.

Trey Gerrald:

Like I felt like it made me feel smart.

Chelsey Donn:

What, what do we think about like the, the tackling onto this review of

Trey Gerrald:

I'm glad you said that.

Trey Gerrald:

Cuz it does feel like UN it doesn't feel part of the

Chelsey Donn:

It's not really like on point with the

Trey Gerrald:

No, I don't think anyone.

Trey Gerrald:

No.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't think anyone in the kitchen has anything to do with the water pressure and the dorms,

Chelsey Donn:

Exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

So I do think that's a little odd,

Trey Gerrald:

they're sort of adding that as like an overarching theme of being a student

Chelsey Donn:

right?

Chelsey Donn:

I like that they had the pretension to refer to them and their classmates as bright, young minds

Trey Gerrald:

of our generation.

Chelsey Donn:

of our generation,

Trey Gerrald:

Mm-hmm I also like the phrase skimping.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, I do feel like that's a common thing in college is like trying

Chelsey Donn:

USC is similar to NYU.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like, you know, a lot of spoiled kids with a lot of very high expectations.

Chelsey Donn:

It does.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm not leading the witness, but it does make me wonder if like, is JC a little bit more picky?

Chelsey Donn:

Like, do we think that they're just like an average person?

Chelsey Donn:

Or I know that like a lot of the people that I went to school with, especially the guys were

Chelsey Donn:

I maybe did.

Chelsey Donn:

I know I definitely didn't pass freshman year, cuz like I wanted higher quality food.

Chelsey Donn:

I didn't want dining hall food, but I also like don't necessarily

Chelsey Donn:

Like knock on all the wood.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't think I ever got like food poisoning or anything like that.

Chelsey Donn:

And that I feel like is like a real measure of a nightmare.

Chelsey Donn:

So I do wonder if JCS opinion applies to everybody.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, it is interesting cuz there, cuz I get the opinion that JC is just saying

Chelsey Donn:

right.

Chelsey Donn:

True.

Chelsey Donn:

True, true, true.

Trey Gerrald:

So that doesn't feel as bratty to me, but it does.

Trey Gerrald:

I do have it a, I do have an overall feeling that JC feels, uh, what's the word.

Trey Gerrald:

They, they, they sort of have a chip on their shoulder that everyone is out to get

Chelsey Donn:

do feel that a little bit.

Trey Gerrald:

a premier university, but maybe that's just more supporting evidence.

Trey Gerrald:

I Donn don't

Chelsey Donn:

And maybe that is more of like a college thing.

Chelsey Donn:

Like having been really knocked off your, like when you go to a college, especially a

Chelsey Donn:

Like everything, the end all be all is getting to a great school.

Chelsey Donn:

And then afterwards, like life really hasn't kicked JC and the nuts yet, you know,

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, to me, I it's funny, like, I don't think that dining halls are gonna be nice.

Trey Gerrald:

Like, I don't think that they're gonna be good.

Trey Gerrald:

So I, I don't know,

Chelsey Donn:

I think there's like varying degrees, you know,

Trey Gerrald:

I suppose, but I they're obviously not fine dining.

Chelsey Donn:

They're not fine dining.

Chelsey Donn:

And they're not claiming to be, especially like, no matter what way you wanna

Chelsey Donn:

You know, clearly it is indicating like, yeah, we're keeping it simple.

Chelsey Donn:

We're keeping it basic.

Chelsey Donn:

So it's not gonna be.

Trey Gerrald:

Do you think there's value in this.

Chelsey Donn:

I think there is, I guess, like other than the cold

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know if this feels very One-Star-Zinger to me.

Chelsey Donn:

I think, I think of One-Star-Zinger reviews as being like more nightmarish,

Chelsey Donn:

Whereas this feels a little bit more like two star, three star where it's like, it's fine.

Chelsey Donn:

I ate there, like on the days when perspective students were there, it was good on days

Chelsey Donn:

But like, what is so catastrophic in this review?

Chelsey Donn:

That merits a One-Star-Zinger cause One-Star-Zinger, that's a statement.

Trey Gerrald:

That's a good point.

Trey Gerrald:

Like I wonder maybe JC did not personally have the caterpillar in their food cuz I'm

Trey Gerrald:

That's really One-Star-Zinger.

Trey Gerrald:

I agree with you.

Trey Gerrald:

I do feel like they're just saying like, this is not good and it doesn't meet

Chelsey Donn:

I think that's yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

See, I forgot about the caterpillar because it just wasn't attached to any emotion,

Chelsey Donn:

Like, instead of being like, I was on board until caterpillar, you know,

Trey Gerrald:

also thinking like, maybe that's like an ongoing, urban myth,

Trey Gerrald:

Like I could see it's a college, like some stupid science major was like, ha ha.

Trey Gerrald:

Watch what I'm doing.

Trey Gerrald:

Ethel.

Trey Gerrald:

know why I said it.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

I think that this, like, I am getting, this is not lair and that it's not that great.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

I agree.

Chelsey Donn:

I think what, where JC is succeeding is they're really setting up my expectations.

Trey Gerrald:

That's the word I was gonna say.

Trey Gerrald:

They're telling me to not expect anything.

Trey Gerrald:

Good.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

Which I appreciate.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

I do.

Trey Gerrald:

I, I, I believe them, but I also sort of feel like for some reason, I'm having a hard

Chelsey Donn:

on is like a USC thing.

Chelsey Donn:

I wanna say that's like a Trojans fight

Trey Gerrald:

oh, oh, oh thank you.

Chelsey Donn:

You're welcome.

Trey Gerrald:

Is USC like the little mascot guy?

Trey Gerrald:

That's like the Trojan

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

yeah, yeah, yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

I can see his little head.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, alright.

Trey Gerrald:

Do you think that this will be a common experience for people?

Chelsey Donn:

I do.

Chelsey Donn:

I

Trey Gerrald:

I kind of do too.

Trey Gerrald:

If the broccoli is yellow more than one time, that's a problem.

Trey Gerrald:

Like it's broccoli.

Trey Gerrald:

It's broccoli's everywhere.

Trey Gerrald:

It's not like, it's not like we're talking about Flamen it's like.

Chelsey Donn:

that, yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

That's definitely not great,

Trey Gerrald:

I would be upset though, if I was a student and I had this meal plan, cuz I remember

Chelsey Donn:

right?

Chelsey Donn:

Exactly.

Trey Gerrald:

to restaurants every so often, but like you, you can't

Chelsey Donn:

paying for this unlimited plan and that's the whole idea.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Now we

Trey Gerrald:

The couple of chuckles,

Chelsey Donn:

I think they were trying for humor.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know how successful JC was, but I do think that they were making an effort.

Trey Gerrald:

this might be a show first for me, but I was entertained reading it.

Trey Gerrald:

Like it does feel like an essay to me.

Trey Gerrald:

I, I felt like this is a scholarly piece of writing, which is like, seems

Trey Gerrald:

Like I, I enjoyed J's literary voice while reading it.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I think that JC made a real Valiant effort, especially with the

Chelsey Donn:

I think we can tell that they're a college student, like you said, they're

Chelsey Donn:

They're they're really, uh, putting together a narrative.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

I feel like I've, I've gathered all the Intel I need,

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, let's crown let's crown Jesus.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

So ChelseyBD and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards in an effort to be fair

Trey Gerrald:

We will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

VOICEOVER:

The Queens are Tabulating

VOICEOVER:

to.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm holding up three and a half crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey is holding up four crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

I went with three and a half for JC, you know, a little bit above middle of the road.

Chelsey Donn:

I wanted more info in the caterpillar.

Chelsey Donn:

I love a personal story.

Chelsey Donn:

As you know, if we're gonna drop some shade, I wanna know really the personal event that

Chelsey Donn:

I don't really feel like JC succeeded on that for me.

Chelsey Donn:

I think they succeeded in a lot of other places and that's why I went with three and a half, but

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I said four because interesting.

Trey Gerrald:

I, I actually appreciate the cool collectedness throughout this review, which I think we got into

Trey Gerrald:

Raging horrifying experience.

Trey Gerrald:

And then I also found myself wanting more details.

Trey Gerrald:

So I said four, because I think it's beautifully written.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm, it's hard for me to tell the truthful shady scale here, because I can't tell if JC

Trey Gerrald:

Like, it seems like the world is showing up in a certain way to JC that life's hard and no

Trey Gerrald:

But, um, I, but I actually enjoy the review.

Trey Gerrald:

I think the lasting impact here is like, I'm gonna turn all of my romaine leaves upside down.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm gonna like dig around and like, you know, I don't know if I would, I would probably

Chelsey Donn:

Or maybe seek out other dining calls,

Trey Gerrald:

I would also know that when I tour the school, it's probably not gonna be a good rec.

Trey Gerrald:

Uh, it's not gonna be

Chelsey Donn:

representation.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

That's all smoke and mirrors and acting.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm acting.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

I agree.

Trey Gerrald:

All right,

Chelsey Donn:

Well that was fun.

Chelsey Donn:

Should we, should we take a quick break?

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, let's do a quick game break.

Trey Gerrald:

And then when we come back, we will hear Chelsea's five star review, and then we

Trey Gerrald:

God, I can't wait to decide BRB

Chelsey Donn:

Love it.

Chelsey Donn:

B B

Trey Gerrald:

B B bye.

Chelsey Donn:

B, B B.

Chelsey Donn:

Bye.

Chelsey Donn:

Now.

VOICEOVER:

Hold your crown.

VOICEOVER:

We'll be right back.

Chelsey Donn:

Wow.

Trey Gerrald:

Not yet.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Did you wanna do

Chelsey Donn:

wow.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, you're usually the one that does

Trey Gerrald:

could do it

Chelsey Donn:

You do it.

Trey Gerrald:

fight on it's game time.

Chelsey Donn:

That's right.

Chelsey Donn:

It is game time.

Chelsey Donn:

We have a brand new game.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey has no idea.

Chelsey Donn:

I've created this game specifically for our back to college episode.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey, are you ready to play a brand new game?

Trey Gerrald:

I'm ready.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Should we do that weird Hawaiian music.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

This game is called professor or Kvetch.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Is it a class that is taught by a real professor or is it the title

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

So you're gonna tell me professor or Fetcher.

Trey Gerrald:

so it's like, is this a class or is this a subject

Chelsey Donn:

Do you think it's a real class or did I pull this from the title of a Kvetch

Trey Gerrald:

review?

Trey Gerrald:

Got it.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Are you ready?

Trey Gerrald:

Um,

Chelsey Donn:

or Kvetch

Trey Gerrald:

okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, I'm ready.

Trey Gerrald:

Here we go.

Chelsey Donn:

for the love of Snoop.

Trey Gerrald:

is a Fetcher.

Chelsey Donn:

right.

Chelsey Donn:

It's Kvetch.

Trey Gerrald:

Yay.

Chelsey Donn:

What if Harry Potter is real?

Trey Gerrald:

Well, I'm thrown off by the tents there.

Trey Gerrald:

What if Harry Potter is real?

Trey Gerrald:

I think if it was a class, it would be what if Harry Potter was real?

Trey Gerrald:

So I'm gonna say this is a feer.

Chelsey Donn:

it is a professor.

Chelsey Donn:

It is a class taught at Appalachian state university in Boone, North Carolina.

Trey Gerrald:

Whoa,

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Here we go.

Chelsey Donn:

Death to fast fashion.

Trey Gerrald:

this is a Kvetch.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes, that is right.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

That is AFE.

Trey Gerrald:

Wait, was that about H and M

Chelsey Donn:

Oh.

Chelsey Donn:

Death to fashion was an Amazon review written by HR for a book called how to get dressed

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Hillary RA?

Chelsey Donn:

Exactly.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

The sociology of Miley Cyrus

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, I think you might be trying to trick me with the word sociology.

Trey Gerrald:

So I must say this is a Kvetch.

Chelsey Donn:

professor, this is a class taught at Skidmore college.

Trey Gerrald:

What?

Chelsey Donn:

Here we go.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Macon whoopy, Goldbergs cannon.

Trey Gerrald:

This is a course professor.

Chelsey Donn:

course.

Chelsey Donn:

It's a course.

Chelsey Donn:

It's a based college by professor Charles.

Chelsey Donn:

I Nero he's self-identified I think created this class.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Street fighting mathematics.

Chelsey Donn:

right.

Chelsey Donn:

This is a, this is a course taught at MIT of all places.

Chelsey Donn:

I know.

Chelsey Donn:

Isn't it funny?

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm tired right now.

Chelsey Donn:

Tight watery, the good life on a dollar a day.

Trey Gerrald:

I think this is about water bottle, good life company.

Trey Gerrald:

So I'm gonna say this is a Fetcher.

Chelsey Donn:

That is professor.

Chelsey Donn:

It's a class at Alfred university flat earth for me.

Trey Gerrald:

this is without a doubt.

Trey Gerrald:

Fetcher.

Chelsey Donn:

It's a convention.

Chelsey Donn:

You're right.

Chelsey Donn:

You're

Trey Gerrald:

is that for

Chelsey Donn:

It is an Amazon review written by Amazon.

Chelsey Donn:

Good old Amazon customer for Einstein the life and universe by Walter Isaacson.

Trey Gerrald:

earth?

Trey Gerrald:

For me?

Trey Gerrald:

That's funny.

Chelsey Donn:

I know, I know.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

Deconstructing TV's Buffy.

Trey Gerrald:

This is a professor.

Chelsey Donn:

It is.

Chelsey Donn:

It's a class at Emerson college.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Stupidity

Trey Gerrald:

This could be both, but I think it's sick Fetcher.

Chelsey Donn:

professor is a class at accidental college.

Chelsey Donn:

The amazing world of bubbles.

Trey Gerrald:

this is a vecher.

Chelsey Donn:

It is a course at Caltech.

Trey Gerrald:

how do you teach a class on bubbles?

Chelsey Donn:

I know.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

The physics of star Trek.

Trey Gerrald:

I could see this being a book, but I'm gonna say this is a course.

Trey Gerrald:

This is a professor.

Chelsey Donn:

It is a professor at Santa Clara university.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Only the classiest of artwork.

Trey Gerrald:

Fetcher.

Chelsey Donn:

That's right.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

This is an Amazon review written by Kathleen B for a portrait of Danny DeVito and his beloved ham.

Chelsey Donn:

Yes.

Chelsey Donn:

Tree climbing.

Chelsey Donn:

That's right.

Chelsey Donn:

Tree climbing is a one credit course that you can take at Cornell university.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

ready.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm try.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, look a chicken.

Chelsey Donn:

it is a class totted Belmont university in Nashville, Tennessee.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Yep.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Materialism and lack of introspection.

Trey Gerrald:

I really feel like this could be both.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm gonna say it's Kvetch.

Chelsey Donn:

You're right.

Chelsey Donn:

It is a Kvetch.

Chelsey Donn:

It is an Amazon review written by Alyssa M of, of the book, Chris

Trey Gerrald:

Whoa,

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Surviving the coming zombie apocalypse.

Trey Gerrald:

professor,

Chelsey Donn:

Wow.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm surprised you got that so quickly.

Chelsey Donn:

That is a cause at Michigan state university.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Arguing with judge Judy

Trey Gerrald:

professor.

Chelsey Donn:

that's right,

Trey Gerrald:

I could see that being like a law course.

Chelsey Donn:

right.

Chelsey Donn:

University of California, Berkeley.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

There's like so many good ones.

Chelsey Donn:

It's so hard for me to like stop,

Trey Gerrald:

can do some on the after show too.

Chelsey Donn:

yeah, we'll do more on the after show.

Chelsey Donn:

I always pick so many.

Chelsey Donn:

That was fun.

Chelsey Donn:

Trey.

Chelsey Donn:

I think you actually did pretty well.

Chelsey Donn:

How do you feel?

Trey Gerrald:

I feel good.

Trey Gerrald:

So I got 11, but I missed six.

Chelsey Donn:

So I think that it's winning over 50% with, uh, with the curve.

Trey Gerrald:

I call that street fighting mathematics.

Chelsey Donn:

I got that a pass.

Trey Gerrald:

How did you guys do listeners?

Trey Gerrald:

Let us know call in.

Chelsey Donn:

Did you beat Trey?

Chelsey Donn:

If you did congratulations to you?

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

Trey Gerrald:

All righty.

Trey Gerrald:

We are back from that Rosing game break.

Trey Gerrald:

I feel rased and wow.

Trey Gerrald:

Did I do good?

Trey Gerrald:

Now Chelsey, it's your turn.

Trey Gerrald:

Let's hear this other side, the flip side of the quarter.

Trey Gerrald:

One might say, let's hear the heads of USC dining hall, Chelsey.

Trey Gerrald:

What have you got for us?

Chelsey Donn:

So this review is written by petsy P E T C Y Y.

Chelsey Donn:

Pet C Y, and petsy gave, uh, the dining hall.

Chelsey Donn:

EVK five stars.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay, here we go.

Chelsey Donn:

It's good.

Chelsey Donn:

BC.

Chelsey Donn:

I feel included.

Chelsey Donn:

In everybody's kitchen.

Chelsey Donn:

I wish the experience could last forever, but unfortunately I have

Chelsey Donn:

If sleep wasn't a thing I would live in the soup section of EVK.

Chelsey Donn:

I ate the salad, some of the best leaves I've ever put in my mouth for dessert.

Chelsey Donn:

I got the ice cream, there were three options, but only one of them worked that's okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Because that's the exact one.

Chelsey Donn:

I wanted leave it to EVK to know exactly what the people want.

Chelsey Donn:

Really an institution created to cater to the masses.

Chelsey Donn:

Here's the drink?

Chelsey Donn:

I had poetic an emotional name that brought tears into my eyes.

Chelsey Donn:

Blueberry spa water PLS, eat here.

Chelsey Donn:

I beg of you.

Chelsey Donn:

It was an out of body experience.

Trey Gerrald:

What

VOICEOVER:

Mm.

Trey Gerrald:

do you think that this was a joke review?

Chelsey Donn:

I think it is a joke, but I also think the petsy probably likes

Chelsey Donn:

What what's Ew.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm just imagining like the slop of a so.

Trey Gerrald:

But I'm also coming into this from JCS review.

Trey Gerrald:

So let me, let me erase that for a

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

Let's put That's cause like, have you ever gotten to whole foods?

Chelsey Donn:

And they have like all those like soup things there is that gross,

Trey Gerrald:

guess what I was bringing into the conversation, which I'm gonna take out is

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

So let me rewind here.

Trey Gerrald:

I have a question here.

Trey Gerrald:

Petsy says that they have three nozzles for the ice cream, but only

Trey Gerrald:

Cuz that's one they wanted.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, what if you wanted one of the two that wasn't there that doesn't

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I think that we have a similar situation with both of these where like, maybe we're not assigning the

Trey Gerrald:

what is this saying about the future of America?

Chelsey Donn:

But I do like that.

Chelsey Donn:

Like they didn't just wax poetic.

Chelsey Donn:

Like they owned up to the fact that there were three options and only one of them worked.

Chelsey Donn:

I think this is a perfect example of two people who really did have different expectations.

Chelsey Donn:

Like petsy likes the soup, she's in it for the lettuce.

Chelsey Donn:

She she's in it for the ice cream.

Chelsey Donn:

She's in it.

Chelsey Donn:

She loved the blueberry spa water,

Trey Gerrald:

You know what I just thought about?

Trey Gerrald:

I am imagining those like frozen yogurt machines where it's like vanilla, swirl and chocolate.

Trey Gerrald:

So if two of them weren't working, that means they ran out of either

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

Cause it's two flavors and the middle one is both.

Trey Gerrald:

So if you're out of two, that means they ran outta

Chelsey Donn:

Uh, yeah, but I guess it also could just be like vanilla chocolate strawberry.

Chelsey Donn:

It could just be like

Trey Gerrald:

Have you ever seen that in your life?

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah,

Trey Gerrald:

You have seen a frozen yogurt machine.

Trey Gerrald:

That was three flavors.

Chelsey Donn:

for sure.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, look at like 16 handles, there's like 16 different flavors, right?

Trey Gerrald:

Well, that's called 16 handles.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm talking about a dining hall ice cream machine.

Chelsey Donn:

saying yes.

Chelsey Donn:

The dining hall ice cream machine is usually vanilla chocolate in the middle is chocolate.

Chelsey Donn:

So you're, that's an interesting point, Trey, because if it, if we are to believe that

Chelsey Donn:

Well then yeah, chocolate would definitely be down and the vanilla chocolate

Trey Gerrald:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

So.

Chelsey Donn:

Anyway, if that or the case, I'm a vanilla girl.

Chelsey Donn:

I would be happy.

Chelsey Donn:

Like, like petsy,

Trey Gerrald:

You know, the reason that I think this is probably jokey, there's

Trey Gerrald:

So they could just stay there.

Trey Gerrald:

That feels very not truthful.

Trey Gerrald:

Also some of the best leaves I've ever

Chelsey Donn:

I know I ever put in my mouth.

Trey Gerrald:

Ew.

Chelsey Donn:

I know

Trey Gerrald:

Cause see, now I'm starting to wonder like, maybe this is so below

Chelsey Donn:

maybe.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

What about the review makes this question that maybe there is some truth

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Well, I guess the specific things that they mentioned make me feel like there's

Chelsey Donn:

Like the soup section and.

Chelsey Donn:

The Le the leave.

Chelsey Donn:

So it's like, I guess there's a salad bar and the ice cream and the, I don't know.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, like, people are dramatic, especially in college.

Chelsey Donn:

So I would, you know, how like different dining halls kind of Excel in different areas.

Chelsey Donn:

I would buy that, like, this is the one you wanna go to, if you wanna get like the, although

Trey Gerrald:

can I ask you a question?

Trey Gerrald:

When was yours?

Trey Gerrald:

When did pet see?

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, cause I saw a bunch of reviews that were One-Star-Zinger that said

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, interesting.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, it definitely is a little bit jokey.

Chelsey Donn:

Admittedly, there were not that many, five star reviews for, you know, obviously we

Chelsey Donn:

You know, there weren't very many F star reviews, so I didn't have a ton to pull from.

Chelsey Donn:

So I don't think that petsy is like the end all be all in terms of whether or not I

Trey Gerrald:

Hmm.

Chelsey Donn:

you know?

Trey Gerrald:

Do you think there's unique information in this review?

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, I learned that there's a soup section.

Trey Gerrald:

yes.

Chelsey Donn:

right.

Chelsey Donn:

And that there's ice cream and blueberry spot water.

Trey Gerrald:

also feels like the opposite end of JC because the spelling grammar, I D K L

Chelsey Donn:

Very colloquial PLS, BC.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Are there misspellings or just, um, lazy spellings?

Chelsey Donn:

No, no misspellings, just like it reads like a text message.

Chelsey Donn:

You know what I mean?

Chelsey Donn:

Like, and it's two years old.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't know how old the other one was, but like, it does feel very like gen Z, you know,

Trey Gerrald:

Oh, I thought you didn't text.

Trey Gerrald:

I thought you only called

Chelsey Donn:

I didn't say I don't text.

Chelsey Donn:

I just don't text and drive Trey.

Trey Gerrald:

and angry that quick.

Chelsey Donn:

God.

Trey Gerrald:

is a typical experience?

Trey Gerrald:

Do you think That's I, you know, here, wait, I can actually play both sides of the field on

Trey Gerrald:

I can experience it's like you do want to not leave.

Trey Gerrald:

Like you just wanna keep hoarding this ice cream.

Chelsey Donn:

because the thing is also like, once you leave, like that's the whole trick of the

Chelsey Donn:

And then as soon as you leave, if you wanna come back in there, well,

Chelsey Donn:

So like, I do understand that feeling of like, not wanting to leave, because

Chelsey Donn:

I really want that thing.

Chelsey Donn:

It's like, gotta get it all in now.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, it obviously is a joke.

Chelsey Donn:

And I hear you.

Chelsey Donn:

I think that the problem with these sort of jokey reviews that really go over the

Chelsey Donn:

Where are we giving real information?

Chelsey Donn:

You know, is the soup really amazing?

Chelsey Donn:

Is the blueberry water really?

Chelsey Donn:

I mean the whole poetic here's the drink.

Chelsey Donn:

I had colon poetic, an emotional name that brought tears into my eyes.

Chelsey Donn:

Blueberry spa water, like.

Trey Gerrald:

see that makes me think that they don't even have the blueberry water.

Trey Gerrald:

I think that that occurs to me in hearing it.

Trey Gerrald:

As an extension of the joke, like they don't even have, like, it's just gross water.

Trey Gerrald:

That's brown, like the faucets in the gym or in the showers.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, here's

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, who knows?

Trey Gerrald:

We'll never know, but like, it all, it all occurs to me that this is such a farcical

Chelsey Donn:

So like, if I read it, they would be like, if I read it and I went to USC, I

Chelsey Donn:

You know, if she would cosign on any of this or if this is all just a joke, it is

Trey Gerrald:

Does petsy have other reviews?

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah, they do.

Chelsey Donn:

They've written 18 other reviews and they've included 14 pictures though.

Chelsey Donn:

They, they didn't include any pictures here.

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, I'm making this up and, but it does occur to me that this

Trey Gerrald:

like the truth is everything I'm saying is not

Chelsey Donn:

The truth is that it's terrible.

Chelsey Donn:

All of the ice creams never work.

Chelsey Donn:

I can only eat the soup or the leaves.

Chelsey Donn:

Everything else is gross and I'm calling it spa water, but it's actually just like muddy water.

Trey Gerrald:

right.

Chelsey Donn:

It might be.

Trey Gerrald:

knows?

Trey Gerrald:

I don't know, but I do think there's an impact for me.

Chelsey Donn:

And what is that impact?

Trey Gerrald:

I'll tell you in the

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

Chelsey Donn:

Should we crown?

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, I think I could.

Trey Gerrald:

You

Chelsey Donn:

I think I'm ready.

Chelsey Donn:

Okay.

VOICEOVER:

The Queens are Tabulating

VOICEOVER:

to.

Chelsey Donn:

Two crowns, two crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

The Queens are unanimous.

Chelsey Donn:

Sorry, try, let us know.

Chelsey Donn:

What's the impact.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

I'm totally creating this on my own and making it up.

Trey Gerrald:

It could, it could be real.

Trey Gerrald:

It just occurs to me that it's all a joke.

Trey Gerrald:

I mean, there are 34 reviews.

Trey Gerrald:

You see that it's a two and a half outta five rating.

Trey Gerrald:

It feels to me that petsy was just like, I there's an impact for me that this is only corroborating,

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

which is kind of funny.

Trey Gerrald:

And also I'm saying the two stars, because it does look like a text message.

Trey Gerrald:

And it also feels like there's not really anything to gather here other than they have soup

Chelsey Donn:

right

Trey Gerrald:

and that the ice cream machine doesn't always offer all of the offerings.

Trey Gerrald:

So it does make me think I need to read more reviews.

Trey Gerrald:

So the impact sort of is like, maybe this is just really bad, which

Trey Gerrald:

So then I'm sort of like, whoa, this is like the matrix or something.

Trey Gerrald:

So two stars, cuz it's more confusing than it is insightful.

Trey Gerrald:

But I think maybe the joke, if I read it, if I lean into what I think is all ingest, maybe

Trey Gerrald:

So I said two stars, cause I'm confused, pat.

Trey Gerrald:

Petsy why,

Chelsey Donn:

I'm conf petsy why pets.

Chelsey Donn:

Petsy.

Chelsey Donn:

Why, why, why petsy why.

Trey Gerrald:

Chelsey Chelsey?

Trey Gerrald:

Why, why did you say two crowns?

Chelsey Donn:

sit two crowns, mostly for all the same reasons that you said.

Chelsey Donn:

I don't think I can, as a Review Queen, you know, sign off on this review because

Chelsey Donn:

Clearly was going for some humor, was having fun with it is an anomaly, right?

Chelsey Donn:

Is a five star amongst One-Star-Zinger two stars.

Chelsey Donn:

So they had to stand out one way or another.

Chelsey Donn:

I sort of wish they would've stood out in more of a, like, I've heard all the

Chelsey Donn:

And for that, I gave them the two crowns.

Chelsey Donn:

But in terms of this being a useful review, couldn't really give more than that.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, I agree.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Chelsey Donn:

Fight on

Trey Gerrald:

Fight on.

Trey Gerrald:

Would you get a meal plan or no?

Chelsey Donn:

if my only option was to go to this dining hall.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

I think the impact here is like I would choose to not attend this EVK kitchen.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Chelsey Donn:

No,

Trey Gerrald:

a point you brought up early on in the episode is like, are these privileged kids

Trey Gerrald:

And maybe it's just totally fine.

Chelsey Donn:

but I guess, you know, to counteract my own point, you're, if you're

Chelsey Donn:

If like, that was really what you were thinking about then are you gonna even

Chelsey Donn:

Are you just sort of gonna be like, it is what it is?

Chelsey Donn:

I'll make it work.

Trey Gerrald:

I think I would just do what it is, what it is.

Trey Gerrald:

I don't think I would be looking on help.

Chelsey Donn:

Right.

Trey Gerrald:

and even more telling of all we didn't even talk about.

Trey Gerrald:

Why have they not claimed it on Yelp?

Chelsey Donn:

Would you claim a two and a half?

Trey Gerrald:

Well, that's why I'm saying that makes me think it is true.

Chelsey Donn:

right, exactly.

Trey Gerrald:

if we're doing this statistic from this five star, that in my opinion is

Chelsey Donn:

right.

Chelsey Donn:

True, true,

Trey Gerrald:

34 reviews.

Chelsey Donn:

right.

Chelsey Donn:

Petsy really, she she's a tip in the scales.

Trey Gerrald:

She's a statistics major.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh, you're right.

Chelsey Donn:

That was super fun.

Chelsey Donn:

That made me nostalgic for college again.

Trey Gerrald:

I gotta get my trapper keeper.

Chelsey Donn:

Anyway, enough of that.

Chelsey Donn:

All right.

Chelsey Donn:

My Queen we've reached the most Regal portion of our show.

Chelsey Donn:

Who are you inducting today for?

VOICEOVER:

My Royal line.

Trey Gerrald:

Okay.

Trey Gerrald:

Today I'm really excited because I am going to induct a fellow podcast.

Chelsey Donn:

Woo.

Trey Gerrald:

All right.

Trey Gerrald:

So I recently discovered, and actually love this new podcast it's called what the hell was that?

Trey Gerrald:

And the co-hosts Nate and Mike are really funny.

Trey Gerrald:

So what the premise of the show is they watch these sort of notoriously questionable films.

Trey Gerrald:

And then they do really funny recaps where they literally go like beat

Trey Gerrald:

What the hell was that?

Trey Gerrald:

You know, they have like all of their own like stories and stuff that they like toss in there.

Trey Gerrald:

So it really is like, you're hanging out with the two of them and you it's like,

Trey Gerrald:

They also like cover reviews of the, like from, uh, audience members,

Trey Gerrald:

So it's really funny.

Trey Gerrald:

My fav I, two of my favorite episodes, they do the dere Hansen movie, which is funny.

Trey Gerrald:

And then they also do Ella, which is very funny, which I did not see.

Trey Gerrald:

But

Chelsey Donn:

I saw it.

Trey Gerrald:

did you think it was bad?

Chelsey Donn:

I liked it.

Chelsey Donn:

I didn't think it was bad.

Chelsey Donn:

I mean, they obviously did.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm curious to listen to the episode.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, that's a funny one because they actually watched it twice.

Trey Gerrald:

and then they were saying like, they couldn't because something happened.

Trey Gerrald:

So they couldn't actually record after they first saw it.

Trey Gerrald:

So then they had to like find another theater where it was playing and it was like an hour away.

Trey Gerrald:

Um, so then they had to like drive and like to go and hate, watch this thing to then record.

Trey Gerrald:

And then they weren't able to, and then they're like, we cannot like

Trey Gerrald:

But they, what I thought was interesting is they were bringing up the parallels of

Chelsey Donn:

I can see that.

Chelsey Donn:

I can definitely see

Trey Gerrald:

anyway.

Trey Gerrald:

So I'm highly recommending what the hell was that?

Trey Gerrald:

The podcast it's really great, really fun.

Trey Gerrald:

Uh, if you just wanna like, have something fun to listen, to disengage from the harsh realities

Chelsey Donn:

Take a break from the true crime.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, exactly.

Trey Gerrald:

Or if you yourself have written, cuz you know, we don't really cover film on this podcast,

Trey Gerrald:

You didn't even know.

Trey Gerrald:

So for that reason I am inducting.

Trey Gerrald:

What the hell was that podcast with cohost, Nate and Mike, they're really fun and enjoyable.

Trey Gerrald:

I highly recommend you go over there and you give them some likes, write them

Trey Gerrald:

So we've included in the show notes below all of the links to find what the hell was that.

Trey Gerrald:

Make sure you check it out.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm gonna be clicking.

Chelsey Donn:

I know that

Trey Gerrald:

What the

Chelsey Donn:

love that so much.

Chelsey Donn:

Love my fellow podcast community have such love for anyone else that makes a podcast now

Chelsey Donn:

And we watched, I wanna say the Mary Kay Ashley movie getting there.

Trey Gerrald:

no idea.

Chelsey Donn:

And it was so bad that we both like turned to each other and

Chelsey Donn:

And we watched it a second time to confirm that it was that bad.

Chelsey Donn:

And the reality is yes, it was, it was that bad.

Trey Gerrald:

Nate and Mike, there's your next film getting there?

Trey Gerrald:

Starting Mary Kate.

Trey Gerrald:

Ashley.

Trey Gerrald:

Allon

Chelsey Donn:

little throwback to when Mary Kay and Ashley acted.

Chelsey Donn:

Remember that

Trey Gerrald:

I do, oh my God.

Trey Gerrald:

One time I was going to an audition on like the lower east side and the elevator

Trey Gerrald:

Like just the door opened and they're both in black trench coats, like with their like

Chelsey Donn:

I went to college with them.

Chelsey Donn:

They went to, I mean, they, I think dropped out, but they weren't my year Attish.

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

That's right.

Chelsey Donn:

Crazy.

Chelsey Donn:

Crazy.

Trey Gerrald:

Good for them.

Chelsey Donn:

Good for them.

Chelsey Donn:

They're like billionaires.

Chelsey Donn:

They're amazing entrepreneurs.

Chelsey Donn:

If nothing else.

Trey Gerrald:

Well, and the energy of the Olson twins, we did it Queen that is another

Chelsey Donn:

We solve that crime by dinnertime.

Chelsey Donn:

Thank you for joining us today.

Chelsey Donn:

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

Trey Gerrald:

If you didn't like what you heard, tell an enemy.

Trey Gerrald:

If you have zero friends and zero enemies, but you would like the chance to be featured on our show.

Trey Gerrald:

Please leave us a review wherever you are listening to this podcast right now, we've

Trey Gerrald:

Love the podcast.com/the review Queens.

Trey Gerrald:

There is also as always a one click link in the show description

Chelsey Donn:

If you'd like to support the production of our show, visit

Chelsey Donn:

Even a dollar tip is much appreciated or a billion dollars.

Chelsey Donn:

If you're an Olsons win

Trey Gerrald:

Come on, Mary Kay, send us a billion dollars.

Trey Gerrald:

Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to date with

Chelsey Donn:

and hit up our voice mailbox.

Chelsey Donn:

1 8 50 review zero.

Chelsey Donn:

You can follow us on all the socials at the review Queens.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm at ChelseyBD.

Trey Gerrald:

And I am at Trey Gerrald.

Trey Gerrald:

On today's after show pod, Chelsey, and I are gonna be rating a two

Trey Gerrald:

This is a book ChelseyBD titled knitting with dog hair, better, a sweater from

Trey Gerrald:

You'll never meet.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

Stop it.

Chelsey Donn:

I can't

Trey Gerrald:

So to find out what made Chelsey say.

Chelsey Donn:

speaking of dramatic stories with people with like weird Al Yankovich

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah, because we're talking about Michelle getting amnesia on a horse

Chelsey Donn:

Then join our Patreon page at Patreon dot com slash Review

Trey Gerrald:

Oh my God.

Trey Gerrald:

Wait.

Chelsey Donn:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

Don't forget.

Chelsey Donn:

Ignore the haters.

Chelsey Donn:

You're a Queen.

Trey Gerrald:

I love to do that.

Trey Gerrald:

Gender nonspecific Queen

Chelsey Donn:

Of course.

Chelsey Donn:

Bye.

Trey Gerrald:

brother for sale only 50 cents.

Chelsey Donn:

my God.

Chelsey Donn:

I love it.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

VOICEOVER:

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect.

VOICEOVER:

Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design

VOICEOVER:

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora VRA and our theme song was written by

Chelsey Donn:

Oh my God.

Chelsey Donn:

Remember when they were credited as Mary, Kate, Ashley Olson at the end of full house.

Trey Gerrald:

At the beginning.

Chelsey Donn:

Oh yeah, the yeah, top

Trey Gerrald:

Yeah.

Trey Gerrald:

That's that was shady

Chelsey Donn:

that was kind of shady.

Chelsey Donn:

Like they just wanted us to think that they were one person.

Chelsey Donn:

I wonder they didn't wanna act anymore.

Trey Gerrald:

when they wouldn't do fuller house and it was like a whole thing.

Chelsey Donn:

I kind of respect it cuz like let the what's the sister's name again?

Chelsey Donn:

She's

Trey Gerrald:

I knew this was gonna happen.

Trey Gerrald:

Elizabeth Olson,

Chelsey Donn:

Elizabeth Olson.

Chelsey Donn:

She's really taken the torch.

Trey Gerrald:

why didn't they just hire her?

Chelsey Donn:

She probably didn't wanna do it.

Chelsey Donn:

She does like sexier stuff.

Trey Gerrald:

like, yeah, that

Chelsey Donn:

like, I'm good.

Trey Gerrald:

She's like, I'm actually, I'm, I'm not doing lifetime Christmas movies.

Chelsey Donn:

I'm not advertising Chloe.

Chelsey Donn:

Just saying

Trey Gerrald:

Although the best character name to ever exist is Kimmy.

Trey Gerrald:

Gibbler.

Chelsey Donn:

Kim gibber is a good name.

Chelsey Donn:

It's something about the G in the B

Trey Gerrald:

It tells you everything you need to know about who that character is.

Chelsey Donn:

It's so true.

Chelsey Donn:

I love that.

Chelsey Donn:

Good observation

Trey Gerrald:

Thank you.

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
Review That Review with Chelsey & Trey
A comedy podcast dedicated to rating & reviewing online reviews!

About your hosts

Profile picture for Trey Gerrald

Trey Gerrald

Actor | Writer | Human-Person
Review Queen 👑
Profile picture for Chelsey Donn

Chelsey Donn

Actress | Comedian | Writer
Review Queen 👑