Apr 24, 2020
MENTORS RATHER THAN TEACHERS
Truly impactful teachers transcend instruction and become mentors. All it takes is building connections with students.
Track with me here. Because I know from first-hand experience the problem is that it can be difficult to build those bridges. A lot of teachers are struggling to keep their heads above water - especially in their first few years in the classroom. Between creating lessons with a curriculum you're learning as you go, trying to figure out the style of classroom management they want to use, and keeping up with grading, it's hard to get into a connection mindset. Throw in all. the. meetings, and the paperwork, and did I mention the meetings? It can leave teachers feeling like connecting with their students - and impacting them positively - is quickly dying dream.
THE URGENT VS. THE IMPORTANT
The good news is that many teachers are pursuing connection and working to manage all the urgent things so they can focus on the important ones. They're trying out different strategies and methods to manage their classrooms, their paperwork, and their time. They're discovering ways to get to know their students individually, build connection with them, and become a mentor.
I've seen it this play out personally in the lives of my own teens - I know the teachers who impacted them in middle school, the ones who treated them as individuals and inspired them to think more, dream bigger, and reach farther. I know that you had those teachers too - maybe they were the ones who inspired you to step into the classroom yourself?
THE CONSEQUENCES OF NO BRIDGES
I've also seen what happens when teens don't have any bridges built with adults. You only have to look at the statistics to find the grim picture. More than 1 in 20 8th grade students reported using alcohol, marijuana, or illicit drugs. 90% of students in grades 4-8 report have been harassed or bullied. And 3% of kids 13 or younger have had sex - which, by the way, that number jumps to 20% by the time teens hit 9th grade.
It's our job to disrupt those numbers - not in some abstract way, but one student at a time. To connect in meaningful ways that have a lifelong impact. To know our students, love them right where they are, and inspire them to become the best versions of themselves, and thrive right now. Not when they're adults. Not when they're high schoolers, but in this moment.
A DEEPER PURPOSE
That's what I stand for. My mission is to give you, a middle school teacher with a passion for your students, who has a deeper sense of purpose, exactly what you need to transform into that mentor.
My First Year Teaching
Here's exactly when I knew I was called to a bigger purpose than "just" teaching social studies. I was working at a very diverse school in Alexandria, VA. It was my first year of teaching, and I was on a team with 3 other beginning teachers. Thank goodness there was one veteran on the team - looking back, I'm sure it was a tough year for her too, being our mother hen.
An Unexpected Discovery
The school was in an area full of gangs, and although nothing violent ever happened on our campus, we knew it was the backdrop of our students' lives. At the time, slam books were a thing - this was in pre-cell phone days, and kids would pass the notebooks back and forth, and the content was usually not inspirational. But the day I confiscated a notebook from one of my 4th-period students, I had no clue what I was about to uncover. I'm sure I thought it would be the same typical, gossipy, bullying type of rant typical of the other 8th-grade-girl slam books we came across. I wasn't prepared to read about how this beautiful, precious girl had been traumatized over the past weekend, attempting to join a gang.
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME
I did all the "right" things, bringing in the school counselor, letting her know that we loved her and wanted to help her however we could. But it left a mark. One I'm grateful for. It's a mark that compels me to make connections and work to build bridges with teens so that horrors like she experienced, are eradicated. Because the question that still haunts me is: if that young woman had had an adult she trusted, someone she had confidence knew her and was for her, would she have made the same choice?
TEACHING IS NOT ENOUGH
That question led to this discovery: it's was not enough for me to only teach my subject. I needed to shoot for something more.
It was frustrating because it felt like I was doing everything I could humanly possibly be doing. For those of you who have survived your first year of teaching, you know what I'm talking about. I was overwhelmed and exhausted. It was grueling to create lessons from scratch, figure out my classroom management plan, get everything graded, attend all the meetings, fulfill all the communication expectations, and learn the school culture. How could I possibly get to know my students personally when I barely had time to eat most days? Yet, it didn't feel like enough.
QUESTIONS THAT LEAD TO DISCOVERY
Was teaching my students social studies enough? Would getting them all to pass the state test at the end of the year make me the kind of teacher I wanted to be? Well, let me ask you - have you ever had a teacher who helped you pass a test who you didn't connect with? Yeah, me too. Not only ones I didn't connect with but ones I couldn't stand, who I'd NEVER look to for advice or as a role model.
But on the other hand, have you ever had a teacher who you trusted? One who taught you worlds more than their subject area, who just helped you human better?
I found myself asking: Isn't it important to teach students how to show up for themselves and others? To strive to understand and encourage them? How is sticking solely to teaching your subject going to help you build that kind of connection with your student?
THE SATISFACTION OF CHOOSING TO MENTOR
If you're like I was, in that moment of discovery, the thought of adding one more responsibility to my plate was disheartening - but the prospect of going on, as I was, was more than disheartening - because why continue to teach if I wasn't making an impact?
I knew staying on the same path wouldn't satisfy my soul - the piece of me that propelled me into the classroom in the first place. Staying meant I was going to continue to feel unfulfilled, disconnected, and ineffective. Change sounded scary - adding anything else to my plate felt impossible. But imagining what it could look like to connect with my students gave me a sense of expanding hope. A spark of energy. Connecting could transform everything and give meaning not to my life - but to my day.
THE JOURNEY TO BECOMING A MENTOR
I knew changing how I managed my time was going to play a big part in this transition, and so was mastering the curriculum I was teaching. More importantly, amassing strategies to connect in the small moments was going to super-important.
Keeping track of all the little pieces of information I learned about students every day became a priority. Remembering the pieces of their lives that they shared, asking them about the sports they played, the parent who was traveling, the TV show they enjoyed - those were the first hammer swings in building a bridge. Sharing parts of myself was important too. Stories about my dog, my trips home to Texas, and the YA books I was enjoying became part of our conversations.
It was a start. And every year, I got one step closer to becoming the kind of teacher I wanted to be - connected. Empowered. Impactful.
Going beyond teaching, becoming a mentor satisfied my soul and fulfilled the sense of deeper purpose my heart longed for.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
How about you? My question for you is this: are you satisfied with being a teacher? Or do you feel the calling of a deeper purpose? One that compels you to become a meaningful mentor? If that's you - if you're compelled, I'd love for you to join my Facebook group, In the Middle of It. It's a place where we're having that conversation - what it looks like to start the journey to becoming a mentor. I'd love to see you there!
Check out the episode show notes for related links and resources.