Episode 18

A Healthy Body is a Blessing: How Cancer can Change all Perspectives w/ David Moffett

Cancer can change your life, your loved one's life, and everyone's life - In my conversation with David Moffett, we talk through the struggles he faced being a man with prostate cancer - how being a part of the Military caused him to change his Mindset. Then we find how what and why your Mindset around Cancer being a survivor or going through it will forever change the way you see the world.

Take a listen, we discuss the vulnerabilities of being a man with Cancer, how we typically believe it could/would never happen to us, and most importantly, what it takes to be strong for yourself and others while going through illnesses and disease plus so much more…

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More on David Moffett -

Prostate Walk & Family Time

Transcript
Brian:

Welcome back.

Brian:

My mindset explorers today's episode has a lot of vulnerability in it.

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There's a lot of tough conversations that take place in things that are

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brought up regarding struggles and.

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Being a man and having cancer and coming back from being in the war,

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being in the military and then trying to figure out your way in life.

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And I think it brings us an understanding for those that might not have those same

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walks and have that same walk of life.

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It brings a understanding to the mind of the struggles that

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a lot of people are facing.

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A lot of our veterans are facing a lot of our male prostate cancer survivors,

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or even prostate cancer is people that have cancer of the prostate.

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And I think it brings into an aspect of understanding that again, is

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mindset understanding perspectives and beliefs and struggles that

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we've all faced and the number of other people face and David in this.

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Brings to light a lot of struggles that he's had, and I

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can align with a lot of them.

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And I can say I've even had them in my own ways, maybe not to the

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degree, but I can say that I've begun and I have had them before.

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And what he brings to light is really an honor.

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So what you gain from this show perspective of what it's like to be a

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veteran and come back what it's like.

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To try to come back into the civilian world and then what it's like to be a

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cancer survivor, or even have cancer.

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And we all know cancer runs rampant throughout our

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country and around the world.

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So again, it if you haven't had something close to you, impact you

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like this, listening to somebody else's story in this regard is eyeopening.

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And I want to share.

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This now, early in the show, because if you have time, September 10th,

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from 10:00 AM to 3:00 PM down at Larry Bell park in Marietta, Georgia,

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David Moffitt is having a prostate cancer awareness walk in family event.

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It's really, we're checking out.

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If you want to see more information about it.

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I have some, I have a link down in the show notes that you can check out more

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about and it's really worth hearing it.

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You're gonna gain a lot of perspective around real talk and greater awareness

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about prostate cancer and what it does and affects how it affects men.

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Not gonna really sugarcoat it anymore.

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The show hits hard.

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It's very vulnerable and it's eye opening.

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It's worth listening.

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Let's get into it.

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David, I'm super excited to have you on the show.

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I know your journey.

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We've talked outside of even being on this podcast and getting to know

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you as a person and your incredible be being and an incredible man.

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And I have to say it's a real honor to have you on the show and really get into

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your story and what you've overcome and the hurdles that you've faced being what

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you've really walked in this entire life.

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I'm really excited to get into that with you today.

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But first off, thanks so much for coming

David:

on.

David:

Oh man.

David:

I'm thank you.

David:

Good morning, by the way, be I'm very humble BR very thankful and

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grateful that we're having this opportunity to collaborate and I'm

David:

just wanna have a good time, man.

David:

And if we can help somebody and encourage somebody and bless

David:

somebody, it's all good, man.

Brian:

Absolutely.

Brian:

Yeah.

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Those are all great missions and objectives.

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And I definitely think people are gonna walk away with something from that.

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So I like to get the show into an idea of figuring out where people came from.

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One of my favorite questions and my audience has enjoyed it thus far

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is I like to turn back the wheel of time and figure out who you were.

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So I want to know who David was on the playground as a kid.

David:

David was David was energetic loved sports but very reserved, shy kid.

David:

But when it came to sports, I guess that brought out my my personality a little bit

David:

more But just, I love being around people.

David:

It didn't matter what demographics, if we were out on the

David:

playground, it was all good, man.

David:

So that's who I was as a kid.

David:

that's a good question, man.

Brian:

yeah, it's fun.

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It's fun.

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It makes sure you're right.

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And think back as you were as a kid and all that sort.

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So being that energetic type and, reserve shy going through you're growing up

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and I, were there struggles growing up for you that kind of wrote your

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childhood if you will, or were, was it a pretty good childhood overall?

David:

I think for the most part I would say it was a good childhood.

David:

It was tough.

David:

My parents divorced when I was 11 ish, 12 ish.

David:

I guess that pivotal age they got separated.

David:

Maybe I was around 10 that was tough.

David:

That was tough.

David:

My mom was in corporate America.

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My dad was in law enforcement and just the dynamics of our family just changed.

David:

So that was tough.

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And then, wanting to, I don't know, man, just trying to navigate through

David:

that was tough now thinking back on it.

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And I really don't think about it too much now, but in those

David:

times, yeah, it was tough.

David:

And trying to look out for my sister, and absorb some of.

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some of the the break, the broken hood of our family dynamic.

David:

So

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yeah, I think that's powerful and I definitely can see the emotions

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of it and feel even emotions of it.

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I've I, my parents divorced great or there was later in my life.

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I was in my twenties when it happened, but I know divorce.

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We know divorce is common and children are sometimes unfortunately collateral

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damage in that regard for anybody that is unfortunately, maybe potentially

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finding themselves in a divorce or going through a divorce as adults now.

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And they do have kids speaking to your 11 year old self and feeling as if what

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you were struggling with, understanding what wisdom or even in support, could

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they provide their kids through that, that you feel as if maybe you didn't get?

David:

I think

David:

I think as parents, we try to hide.

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And protect.

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And I think just in my perspective, I think that probably does more damage.

David:

Some of the things that as kids, we don't understand, and I think we pick

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up on things like emotions and feelings and distance and those type of things.

David:

I think the, like the relationship part, but I think if parents would parents

David:

need to be more open with their children, even at those younger ages or whatever

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age, when it changes just like anything else, if you're in a job or you're in

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college and your professor changes or whoever your teacher changes, you have

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to kind, you gotta roll with the punches.

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You gotta deal with life as it is.

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And I think a lot of times in our personal, we seem to try to

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protect instead of give the full truth and then grow from it.

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So I think that kind of stagnates the process of.

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Children or young adults really being able to embrace it, deal with it

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and just in a more healthier manner, I would say, because I believe

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they have a lot more questions.

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I believe they, as a child or young adult, you think things you want to know

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things, and I don't think you have to know everything, but I think at least

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that conversation or giving the kids the platform to be able to express themselves.

David:

Yes.

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Vulnerability man.

David:

Yes.

David:

There's that word?

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Yes.

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Yes.

David:

Yes.

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A lot of times as parents.

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I think we'll probably go here a little bit later, but We have to

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be vulnerable in those moments.

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That's part of that's part of the life journey.

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And I think the more vulnerable we are, I think people are able

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to be better supports for us.

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And then even our children.

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I think we we don't give them enough credit because we're thinking about

David:

their, what they may feel emotionally, but life is life and they're gonna

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have to deal with it one way.

David:

The other, yeah, I think we

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also discount and maybe traditionally discount

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how smart a kid is, right.

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That we think we're faking it enough that they don't see it

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or feel it, but they see it.

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So I think giving that acknowledgement and that recognition of saying, Hey,

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look, mom, dad, or whoever it is to that child, I'm, we're struggling right now.

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Hey, this is what I'm going through.

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We're gonna get through it.

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Unfortunately, this is what's happening, but I'm here for you

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and I'm just creating that space.

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That's huge.

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We took a big sharp left turn there and went real deep, but , it's good.

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I wanna see, I know you went into military and I want to get into that aspect of

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getting into your Marine or Marine, right?

Brian:

Yeah.

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that's right.

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so what was that like?

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Did you go right outta high school and get into being in the military?

Brian:

Oh,

David:

actually I went I went to college route.

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And went to John Jay university in Manhattan.

David:

And it was crazy, man.

David:

It was like, I don't know, 30 to one and Manhattan, all the bars and all of that.

David:

So I ended up bumping into one of my cousins and one of his best

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friends and started hanging out with them, cutting classes and drinking

David:

and girls and all of that stuff.

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And I knew that was not the road, that was really not the road.

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So I said I needed to do something different.

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And I wanted to do something I wouldn't do in like civilian life.

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I was talking to one of my good friends at the time and I was

David:

like, yo let's go on the service.

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Let's go on the Marines on the buddy program.

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And he was like, All right.

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Let's do it, man.

David:

So we were we was all signed up and I know his pops was pissed.

David:

He's how going you not going in the Marines, man?

David:

No, hell no.

David:

and it's crazy.

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He was in a pickup football game and broke his ankle.

David:

And so that canceled him out and I still went with it, man.

David:

Changed my life forever.

David:

Yeah.

David:

Changed my life forever.

David:

I was four active for inactive.

David:

So yeah, man.

David:

Yeah, I was in the first Gulf.

David:

Yeah.

David:

Was in Korea during the 88 Olympics.

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we did a security detachment over there.

David:

The college students were protesting did a security detachment in the

David:

Philippines, in the Panama when they kidnapped the students out there.

David:

So yeah.

David:

Saw some stuff, did some stuff that really impacted my life going forward.

David:

Yeah.

Brian:

Yeah.

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There's a lot of you just speak into, and I know what you do now with veteran

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support and you're kicking that off and you're getting into really supporting

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veterans on the other end of it.

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And we all know there's not enough, right there just isn't enough

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support really poured into it.

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So definitely those weaknesses and even potentially listeners that are veterans

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or know somebody that is a veteran.

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What do you tell them when they're coming back, trying to integrate,

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if you will back into civilian life?

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I bet that's a feeling of being

David:

lost.

David:

Yeah, man.

David:

What I would share with the civilian world is that it's a, it's not a light switch.

David:

You can't turn it on and turn it off.

David:

It took me over 20 years to go to the VA.

David:

So there was a lot of brokenness, a lot of damage.

David:

I had PTSD and I would say the veterans coming back that and I think

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I just wanna say men that we just need to move and navigate differently when

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it comes to our feelings, emotions.

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And when I think we feel like we can't talk to anybody.

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and I was that I was one of those poster boys.

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I wouldn't talk, shut down internalized.

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Didn't feel like my family could relate or friends could relate outside

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of the guys that were in my units.

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But the things that we talked about were, when we was drinking and doing dumb shit

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and kind of surface talk, and there was not really, there was no healing in that.

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And I think where I'm at now, here's that vulnerability part being vulnerable

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and being open and being able to let guys know that, or now we have ladies

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in the combat theater, so I don't wanna forget about them, but that

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there you have somebody to talk to.

David:

And eventually I did get some counseling and that saved my life, man.

David:

I had two domestic violence situations.

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I remember my kids saying, dad, you got that look in your eye.

David:

What does that look?

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I remember my ex-wife saying it.

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I remember I, I can remember my current wife saying, why do you look like that?

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And I could never see it inside out.

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But just that anger was just like a time ticking time bomb.

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So the counseling really saved my life, man really gave me some tools to use.

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And the biggest thing was to learn what my triggers are triggers were before.

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I didn't know.

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I didn't have a clue.

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So just flying by the seat of your pants, just life, being a dad, being

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a husband, being an employ employee, being a coach, being so many different

David:

things, but never paying attention to really ever dealing with yourself.

David:

Yeah man, I I would definitely say to vets that you're not alone,

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that's like my biggest thing.

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You're never alone, and especially with God, man, God is, he is awesome.

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He's just he's a awesome fixture in my life.

David:

I could speak to that.

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And I said he's been through the journey with me and I'm thankful

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that I know him to be able to tell my story in all capacities.

Brian:

yeah, it's been a, it's a blessing and all of it and the

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struggles of it and the walk that you've walked as well, and just the

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healing process, we all go through it.

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And some of us are in the early portions of healing.

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Some of us don't even know that we need to heal.

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So I wanna say, and I wanna see what you think on this and maybe even

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wisdom that you can drop into it, cuz you were on that blind side of it.

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Someone that doesn't think that they potentially have a problem or is

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there needing for healing, right?

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Because in the man world, if you will, I know I have it as well feeling as

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if, I don't want to talk about it.

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I I've done things coming from the streets of EMS.

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I've seen things, all types of stuff.

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I'm cool.

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There's no reason to talk about it, but I know that there is now on the

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other end 20, 20 retrospect hindsight, if you will, what would you say to

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somebody that is so apprehensive in counseling or talking about emotions?

Brian:

Where do they begin.

David:

It's crazy, man.

David:

I was just having a conversation about this with a couple of my friends

David:

the other day, this past holiday.

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And I think as men, we it's depositing us early.

David:

We fall down, fall off your bike, scrape your knee, fall off

David:

the fence, whatever it may be.

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We're taught to get up, man, stop crying, just dust, dust yourself off.

David:

And I think with women, if it was a woman and I'm not being chauvinistic

David:

or anything, but I think they're more geared to get that love and affection.

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It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be right.

David:

We see it in sports, I'm sure I wasn't the fishermen or the

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hunter, but and those demographics, I'm sure it's the same message.

David:

But and I think that plant sees for men.

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and I think that goes a long way because when we become of age, when we're either

David:

in relationships or dealing with issues, we're not taught to show our feelings or

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emotions or how to communicate, how we feel or being heard or being neglected

David:

or being whatever that feeling may be.

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So I think we be, it's hard for men just to, and then it's looked

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at as a sign of weakness, right?

David:

As men walk around with their Superman capes on and the corporate environment

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or on the field or the basketball court or whatever it may be that's what we

David:

tend to do instead of pay attention to the things that are really important.

David:

So I think in the earlier ages, when we're young men, we need to

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us as fathers and grandfathers, we need to change that conversation.

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because I think if we do that allow young men and younger men to be

David:

able to understand it's okay to cry, it's okay to show my feelings.

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It's okay to say I've been hurt or I'm sad.

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And it's okay to talk, that's not the boogie monster to

David:

be able to talk to somebody.

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So I think those are probably some of good nuggets that we could all take as far as

David:

older men as far as fathers and uncles and godfathers and grandfathers to change

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the dynamics, how we speak to our young men, cuz I think that will go a long way

David:

into being a better version of ourself.

David:

I could say being a more complete version of ourself later on in life.

Brian:

Yeah, there's something about, even if you're talking to a child or, it

Brian:

could be your nephew, it could be even your niece, there, everybody needs some

Brian:

kind of talk and communication, but like you said there's this different type

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of lie or soil that's laid fertilizer seeding, whatever happens with this,

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the men mentality, if you will, where emotions aren't acceptable, right?

Brian:

You don't really talk about 'em.

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You're not supposed to do that.

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So if we can talk to the young men right now and the young boys and get

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them to recognize that this is normal, we're almost healing ourselves as well.

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Cuz we're talking to a younger version of ourselves in a way, right?

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So those conversations need to happen and we need to have healing take place.

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And man, there's so long in my life that I just ignored so many

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parts of anger and sadness and.

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Loneliness and unworthiness, like all of these things that I just put it

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away, be confident, just keep pushing.

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So I think that we just need to have that more, those conversations with

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boys and men and even adults, adults have really just sometimes inter

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children grown up kids, just at times.

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, there's portions of ourselves that still need some healing.

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I know that you walk that walk and healing, and I know counseling

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was a huge part for that.

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And I go to counseling as well, and it's massive.

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And there's so long that I fought against it and it's it's unfortunate.

Brian:

So I think we, we need to chip away at that more and

Brian:

Yeah, I think that's really, it.

Brian:

It's just finding somebody and having that

David:

conversation.

David:

And I think as a man I took my mother and a friend of mine,

David:

that's like a mother figure.

David:

And my wife this past mother's day to a concert mother's day concert.

David:

And it was, all it, I don't know, it was about 80% women in there,

David:

grandmothers and everything.

David:

It was a gospel concert and it was it was awesome.

David:

But one of the one of the hosts towards, I don't know, three quarters

David:

of the way through, he stood up and he was like, moms, I don't wanna be

David:

disrespectful or anything like that.

David:

And his mother's day and we're gonna celebrate y'all and it was

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it, but I just want all the men that are in here to stand out.

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And so all the men started looking around I don't wanna be part of nobody's joke,

David:

on mother's day . And he was like, no, he was like, nah he stopped , he of

David:

stopped, joking around and stuff, but he became serious and he was like, no,

David:

man I just need y'all to stand up, man.

David:

He just look, yo, y'all bought your moms, your wives your lady friend

David:

and, or your daughters or whoever.

David:

And I just wanna celebrate men like, and the hesitation in the men just to

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stand up is we don't celebrate each other, and we, somebody celebrates us.

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We're like, nah I'm good.

David:

I'm good.

David:

I don't need that.

David:

And we never take time to celebrate each other, outside of, in the

David:

sports arena, Hey hit a home run.

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I ran a touchdown, those type of things, but we're talking about end

David:

endearment, affirmation, other men, just supporting and uplifting each other.

David:

It's always has to be in a, in a.

David:

in a staged platform, right?

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It's not something that's done every day.

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So that really spoke to me.

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I, and I said, what I was gonna start being is more intentional in my

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relationships with my male friends, male family members, male coworkers

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and just sending out like a little positive scripture, to encourage

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the same ones I study every morning.

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But at the end of the day to also let 'em know, to encourage 'em

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and tell 'em that I love them.

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Not that to just not that they're blood, but really speak life of look, man I

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want to tell you daily that I love you, that I care about you, that I'm proud

David:

of you, that that, you inspire me.

David:

I'm here with you.

David:

that same walk that you walk, whether as a father, a husband your faith walk

David:

and, or just some of those down times where men struggle, just to know that

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somebody's in your corner, not judging, not condemning, but loving, uplifting.

David:

So that moment's really spoken to me brother.

David:

And I just try to in my daily walk, try to do that and try to increase

David:

it as the days and weeks go by.

David:

So

Brian:

yeah, that's huge.

Brian:

That's huge.

Brian:

And it is that's so true.

Brian:

That's so true to just the.

Brian:

The commonality or the lack thereof of it being common of just another

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dude saying, I love you, man.

Brian:

Like, why is that so weird in our culture?

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It's so break breaking that and just saying come on, man.

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Love.

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Doesn't have to be like a love you in a weird way or a relationship

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way, like anything like that.

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But I just, Hey man I really, you're a good person.

Brian:

You're a good guy.

Brian:

You're a good man.

Brian:

And you're an inspiration in what you do and just being here now, it's a blessing.

Brian:

So yeah, I think having those and just chipping that away and

Brian:

just, yeah, it's a, we have a lot of work to do as men of healing.

Brian:

We do.

Brian:

So that's big.

Brian:

want walk into your journey of.

Brian:

Your cancer and finding that out.

Brian:

And I know we've talked outside of the show and I've gotten a lot it, and we

Brian:

don't have to get into all the details, but I want the listeners to see and feel

Brian:

what you went through, because we know everybody knows at least one person's

Brian:

had cancer, if they haven't had it themselves cancer, very common, and we

Brian:

know it shifts your mind and it shifts how you see the world and it shifts a lot.

Brian:

So I wanna know if you don't mind, just a little story recap.

Brian:

What was it like for you and where we at now with it?

David:

Oh man.

David:

It is

David:

it was devastating.

David:

Excuse me.

David:

I can word has taken.

David:

So many of my family members, people that were dear to me, and it was tough

David:

to hear it, especially when you think you're healthy and for the most part

David:

doing the right things not having any symptoms or anything like that.

David:

It was a wake up call.

David:

And I think for me, it was my faith, wake up call prostate cancer runs in my family.

David:

My dad had it, my grandfather, my stepfather, three men that are

David:

had serious impact on my life.

David:

Just never talked to me about it.

David:

My sister told me about my dad's version of it.

David:

My mother told me about my stepfather and my grandfather.

David:

As I was going through it and I thought that our relationships had substance.

David:

And then when you realize the men's health aspect, like we could talk about

David:

grades, education, finance, being a good person, but when it came to something

David:

close, bro, like when you revisit that relationship, it was surface

David:

that hurt that's tough.

David:

That's at some of their lowest points.

David:

Why couldn't you talk to your son or your stepson or your grandson?

David:

And maybe that's the reason why guys put, gave me this assignment to not

David:

only speak to my son, my nephews and others, complete strangers about their

David:

health and knowing their family is just near, near and dear to my heart.

David:

And I, like I say, I believe it's my faith walk because

David:

God has just really shown me some things about him.

David:

about him and it's about him that he'll use us if we're just obedient and willing.

David:

And I'm thankful for the journey, I'm thankful and grateful for the

David:

journey, every aspect of it from.

David:

The hurt, the brokenness the ed part of it.

David:

He really gave me some clarity as far as intimacy with him and

David:

knowing him, he wanted a more intimate relationship with me.

David:

And he's taught me some things, shown me some things and is I believe

David:

using me as a vessel to be able to minister to other men in their families

David:

and communities to be a voice and

David:

to serve others and not just to be stuck on my own story, but to serve others

David:

and to help have a greater conversation and a greater awareness to this disease,

David:

which I call the silent killer, because a lot of men don't talk about it.

David:

Or won't talk about it or don't know their family history, or won't go to the

David:

doctor or don't have the means to go to the doctor, or if you do go to the doctor

David:

can for a good healthcare system, and what I've also learned in this process is to

David:

be able to advocate for yourself, even in your healthcare journey to speak up to

David:

question, not just to sit there and okay, that's a doctor, they know everything.

David:

They're people just like us.

David:

To definitely question, and if you feel like you're not getting

David:

the best care, then find someone that's gonna give you the best care

David:

that you feel like you deserve.

David:

So it's been a it's been . I can, I'm thankful, bro.

David:

Really, I'm just so thankful and so humbled and I thank God for

David:

giving me the opportunity to be obedient in this season of my.

David:

And to trust me with his message.

David:

Yeah,

Brian:

man.

Brian:

Yeah.

Brian:

That's huge.

Brian:

The aspect of just being grateful for something like that outside in looking

Brian:

at you and hearing your story, and then hearing that you're grateful for

Brian:

such a thing is just has huge healing and that's powerful and that's inspi

Brian:

inspiration and motivation for anybody, even those that don't have cancer.

Brian:

So definitely condone and respect and yeah.

Brian:

Honored or honor all of it, of what you've gone through and all the sorts.

Brian:

Yeah, definitely a journey that's difficult.

Brian:

And like you said, you've walked even alongside of people.

Brian:

Didn't share their story with you and how that made you feel.

Brian:

And I think we're following this thread throughout this show.

Brian:

So far as this vulnerability of just it's going.

Brian:

Yeah,

David:

man.

David:

It's crazy.

David:

Man, and I tell you much pain as I, I believe that there was in my elders not

David:

talking to me, he filled that void man.

David:

There's a elder gentleman in my support group.

David:

that's in his mid seventies or getting close to 80 anyway and and he shares man

David:

and he has, God has used him as a vessel to me filling that, void those questions.

David:

And he says to me that I'm such an inspiration to him as well.

David:

Sometimes when we feel like we're not getting God still supplies our needs,

David:

man, maybe not all once, but our needs

David:

And yeah man Mr.

David:

Ali, I have to give him a shout out he's he has blessed my heart in more ways.

David:

Just the simple conversation, man.

David:

Just the simple conversation.

David:

when we when we talk, I can say, yo, my, my pops, my grandfather,

David:

my stepfather, this is must have been what they were going through.

David:

This is what they were feeling.

Brian:

Yeah.

Brian:

Yeah.

Brian:

And I think that's again this just like I said, this thread that we're having,

Brian:

we have to have these conversations and if it's somebody that we know or

Brian:

someone in there, and that's a listener that knows somebody that's going through

Brian:

this, how would you initially recommend or even find support for somebody

Brian:

that's walking the walk themselves or know somebody that's walking this walk?

Brian:

Where do they go initially?

Brian:

Because we all know once you get this kind of diagnosis, million questions pop off.

Brian:

How do you support somebody or even support yourself through that,

David:

man?

David:

It's crazy.

David:

Cuz we work for a healthcare system, right?

David:

we work for a healthcare system and the whole time I was going through the

David:

process I didn't that never resonated.

David:

I'm thankful that I had a, that I have an awesome wife.

David:

Who's been a rock and family members that have been very supportive

David:

and not everybody has that.

David:

But I think finding a support group or, and people's different supports

David:

are different, whether they're in their local church or asking, or maybe

David:

somebody knows or a referral like for me B was it was like, it wasn't

David:

something I was thinking about.

David:

I was just thinking about trying to bounce back, get back to work.

David:

And God was like, yo, this is what you're gonna do.

David:

And I'm like hold up.

David:

What do, what?

David:

start a support group or what are you talking about?

David:

And it's crazy how it started, man.

David:

My two VPs were in a meeting and he was like, go in there.

David:

And I was like, what?

David:

And asked him, Hey David, how you doing?

David:

What's up?

David:

Ma'am they, they're saying we're so proud of you and we're so

David:

thankful that you're doing well.

David:

And I was like, I wanna start a support group and I need a place to hold it.

David:

They was like, whatever you need.

David:

And then I started walking into people.

David:

People started coming to my work area and I need you to talk to this person.

David:

I need you to talk to that person.

David:

It was another incident where a childhood friend of mine was on Facebook.

David:

And I saw a fee that he had prostate cancer.

David:

I'm like, what?

David:

Dang.

David:

So I went in and, we were going back and forth.

David:

Didn't even know he was here in Atlanta.

David:

So I was like, God was just navigating.

David:

There was the first people I spoke to after I got the cancer

David:

diagnosis at work and left and my wife and I went to Walmart.

David:

I don't know.

David:

I forgot what we were going to get and ran into a couple, a friend of ours that

David:

I used to coach their son in football.

David:

And she's a nurse practitioner.

David:

And they were like, coach Dave, how you doing?

David:

What's going on?

David:

And I really didn't say too much.

David:

And my wife was saying oh, he got some news today.

David:

He has cancer and blah, blah, blah.

David:

They was like, what coach Dave?

David:

Oh no.

David:

And I was like, yeah, prostate cancer and found out this gentleman

David:

turned around two weeks later, find out he had prostate cancer.

David:

So the dynamics of how God was just connecting dots opening doors to set the

David:

platform for this, he was, he knew he just needed a willing vessel for, to operate.

David:

And we started out with four and I think we're over 50 something

David:

now, man, all walks of life, man.

David:

Guys, I would even imagine I would ever have spoke to in my life.

David:

So the common denominator is pro prostate cancer, but the group

David:

goes into so many different things.

David:

It goes into relationships and marriages and communication and men's health.

David:

And through that I started a breast cancer woman with cancer, cuz I

David:

invited some of my friends that in October to come share their testimony.

David:

And they wanted to come back and I'm like, hold up a minute.

David:

I wasn't y'all were just supposed to be my guest speakers, and I was like, I didn't

David:

have an answer and I couldn't answer them.

David:

Then I was like I have to get back to you.

David:

And I was like, Lord, on the way home, like what, how do I do this?

David:

He was like, I've already given you a platform.

David:

I was like, okay.

David:

So we started that one and I think we might be the 12 or 15 ladies in that one.

David:

And that is, is so powerful.

David:

And just, you learn so much you just think men talking with men,

David:

but then hosting this women's group is it gives you such a different

David:

perspective from a woman's perspective.

David:

And they're mostly caregivers and, backbones to families and the things

David:

that they do that sometimes that we take for granted, and just to see 'em

David:

in a different light, different levels.

David:

So I'm thankful and grateful for that.

David:

And they inspire me so much.

David:

And then I just would hear the conversations of the military guys

David:

at the job, talking about this, that.

David:

and I was like for even guys in my unit, like I said earlier, a lot of

David:

times we just talked about sports and the good old days when we were

David:

drinking and doing stupid stuff.

David:

But not really talking about intentional conversations.

David:

This past Memorial day we had a reunion back at our camp June and we rented

David:

an Airbnb and, everybody was excited.

David:

It was good to see everybody.

David:

We sat on the back porch and we just had some good intentional

David:

conversations about, like you said, like cancer guys have had cancer.

David:

Whether.

David:

Personally, or if it impacted somebody in their family, loss of mothers

David:

during COVID talked about that, we talked about broken marriages, strained

David:

relationships with children or siblings.

David:

We talked about guys being laid off or just stressed out or guys on the

David:

brink of look, man, I don't know if I wanna check out, so for the first

David:

time we had some conversations that were substance, I was like, God,

David:

man, like I never had conversations with my military brothers like that.

David:

And I just it was just through obedience.

David:

And then, so now we do we're starting to do a virtual, we get on

David:

virtually now , and just see each other's faces and just chime in with

David:

each other, encourage each other.

David:

And just that same theme, you're never alone, you never know

David:

what somebody's going through.

David:

Someone's challenged with.

David:

And so like for me, man, just like I said, being more intentional in my

David:

relationships, or even if it's man, it could be a stranger, it could

David:

be a coworker, could be a neighbor.

David:

And then also being present in those times, not being somewhere

David:

else when you're occupying another moment, you know what I'm saying?

David:

Like so many times we do cuz we got so many other responsibility.

David:

Your mind is so often this and this and I'm just, nah, man, I'm just,

David:

I'm thankful and grateful and in this moment, cause the next one's not

David:

promised, we think it is, but it's not.

David:

So tho those like my, my marching orders now.

Brian:

Yeah.

Brian:

I love it.

Brian:

Yeah.

Brian:

The intentional living and vulnerability, getting those conversations going it's

Brian:

sounds as if this entire walk has been a force of trying to just crack your heart

Brian:

open and that love space of just loving yourself and loving others and just

Brian:

loving life and then entire journey of it.

Brian:

And I think we get so distracted, like you said, there's just

Brian:

so much noise in the world.

Brian:

And so many things, like I gotta cook dinner, I gotta take my care of my family.

Brian:

I gotta do all this stuff.

Brian:

And it's blue boom.

Brian:

And then you get struck with something like this and your time stops.

Brian:

Like just this is it.

Brian:

so it just changes everything you were talking about it earlier.

Brian:

Like relationships, we can talk finances, we can talk all surface

Brian:

stuff, but the one commodity or not really commodity one asset that we.

Brian:

This is the most valuable is time.

Brian:

And we don't ever know how much is left in the bank.

Brian:

So let's just, come together and love and support and create

Brian:

these spaces of vulnerability and conversation and intentional living

Brian:

and all these things more often.

Brian:

Yes.

Brian:

Than we do now.

David:

Yes.

David:

It's funny, man.

David:

I have a I have a boss.

David:

I'm not gonna mention that name.

David:

We got the same boss.

David:

No, we

David:

And when I got hired on her team, I was like, she's used to a younger team

David:

and some other coworkers, we're in the fifties grade, so we're, I don't

David:

wanna say old enough to be her dad, I would say older brother or maybe

David:

a younger uncle put it that way.

David:

And she's awesome person.

David:

Just very excellent in what she does.

David:

And she she challenged me.

David:

Lets say what are your goals?

David:

And before that I was like with the security team, for over 10 years and

David:

our goals were mapped out for us.

David:

You just make sure you go to this training, make sure

David:

you keep disqualification.

David:

You good?

David:

I struggle with that question, man.

David:

Like it, it hit me like a ton of bricks cuz I couldn't answer her like

David:

being a husband, being a dad, being a grandfather, being a coach, being an

David:

employer, being a teammate or whatever.

David:

And doing these, like you say, this constant grind.

David:

I never thought about me.

David:

I never thought about what my likes were.

David:

What I was interested in, what my passions were anymore.

David:

Just just going through life's journey.

David:

And she was like, don't stress out.

David:

Next time we meet, just see.

David:

And that, that did something that she cared about, my profess my

David:

professional career, but she cared about me as a person cuz she said,

David:

it's not all about the company.

David:

And so I was like, okay.

David:

So we, I jotted some stuff down and I was there we go that vulnerability.

David:

Like share with her, like what do you think , she's that's awesome.

David:

I'm so proud of you.

David:

Like it was just those little things of affirmation of

David:

encouragement to that little push.

David:

But then I also realized on the back end of that, how God was

David:

gonna use me, the minister to her.

David:

The corporate dynamics of, what it is in corporate America.

David:

But God was using me in a different way, just so my things is, I'll check

David:

in on her, you know what I'm saying?

David:

Hey, I'm just calling to check on you.

David:

I don't need anything, just you good today, and just being that mindful, just

David:

being that intentional person to say, Hey, it's my responsibility to check on people

David:

that are near and dear to me as well, whether it's professionally or personally.

David:

And so I think that showed her a different side of, what we call like relationships,

David:

or how we're supposed to deal with one another, especially in the workplace.

David:

And so God is showing me that, yeah, you can do this in both places and it's okay.

David:

I'm showing you, you could do this in both places.

David:

And not to be afraid of it because you, like you say, you never know

David:

what somebody's going through, and then sometimes they push back,

David:

cause they're not used to it.

David:

They push back, they'll push back, but you still but my mission every day, B is to

David:

not let people see David Moffitt, but to let them see Christ and I made a choice to

David:

serve him and committed to my salvation.

David:

Am I perfect?

David:

No, I'm not perfect.

David:

Do I still struggle in fall times?

David:

Yes I do.

David:

But I couldn't do this without him.

David:

I wouldn't even, we wouldn't be having this conversation without him.

David:

It's real.

David:

It's transparent and the world needs more of it.

David:

Yeah,

Brian:

definitely needs more of it without a doubt.

Brian:

I think that just, again, speaks into the strength of, even though you

Brian:

were saying a corporate America part of just, you don't talk that way.

Brian:

Topped up doesn't work that way or bottom up, if you will, doesn't work that way.

Brian:

You're not supposed to ask how people are doing right.

Brian:

Yeah.

Brian:

Will ask you in the passing of a hallway or water cooler, if you will.

Brian:

What's, how's it going?

Brian:

But don't really, how are you?

Brian:

No, like seriously, how are you?

Brian:

So yeah, the whole tire walk of just having that ability to have those

Brian:

conversations and the chance and the opportunity and the, even the gift to.

Brian:

We need to start seeing that a little bit more, even just when we're having a

Brian:

conversation, it could be on a podcast, it could be passing the hallway.

Brian:

It could be a line at a grocery store, just given the chance

Brian:

to talk to somebody else.

Brian:

We pass it by as if it's just a, an average thing, it's just commonality.

Brian:

Eh, it's okay.

Brian:

But it's a gift of life in order to be able to talk to another person.

Brian:

So yeah, we have to shift our minds and how we see that.

Brian:

And that goes with intentional living that goes with vulnerability that goes

Brian:

with slowing down, being mindful of your actions and what you're saying and what

Brian:

you're thinking and why you're doing it.

Brian:

And sometimes we need those questions of getting the goals,

Brian:

cuz it's easy to be an autopilot.

Brian:

We live most of our lives in autopilot.

Brian:

Going through the grind, and one day I'll retire and then I'll

Brian:

get to relax, but oh, what do you like, what do you really wanna do?

Brian:

It's man, I dunno.

Brian:

, David: it's crazy, man.

Brian:

It is.

Brian:

It is man.

Brian:

Yeah, it's a good journey and all of it and it is, I wanna know.

Brian:

And I wanna share as well as if you have any resources or people that

Brian:

you can drive toward your support groups or where they can find

Brian:

more information about your stuff.

Brian:

If they're wanting to even attend in person, it could be a Atlanta

Brian:

local that's listening, or somebody around the lines of that.

Brian:

Anything you got to drive them to some information to find more.

David:

Yeah.

David:

We're here.

David:

I just started my nonprofit it's in its baby stages, courage and

David:

strength to fight incorporated.

David:

I was fearful of that too, man.

David:

We

David:

I do here in the Atlanta area, I do the monthly meetings.

David:

I don't even know what to say right now, man.

David:

I'm so humble, bro.

David:

Like you don't, it's not about me brother.

David:

It's not about me.

David:

I'm just thankful to be a voice that he's using me to be a voice

David:

and to be an advocate for others.

David:

The enemy is busy and I just, I'm just giving him 100 in my faith walk and

David:

trusting him in all areas of my life.

David:

I will I will forward you to information so you can

David:

really have my first event.

David:

I'm excited about that in September 10th and to have a greater

David:

conversation and create a greater awareness for prostate cancer and

Brian:

is great, man.

Brian:

It was a great, it's a great joy and that's the point of it.

Brian:

And man, there's just things that are happening in our

Brian:

lives in each of our lives.

Brian:

And.

Brian:

I think we fight against a lot of it and you were able to

Brian:

surrender to something bigger.

Brian:

But that's hard.

Brian:

That's so hard.

Brian:

How long, how many years did you fight against it?

David:

I was fighting big.

David:

You don't know?

David:

Y'all didn't know.

David:

No, I called B Bryan B at work.

David:

So that's, if y'all, don't call him B, I call him B , but he's a

David:

good, he's a good brother, man.

David:

And I truly enjoy our conversations.

David:

I enjoy and thankful for the friendship and the brotherhood.

David:

I could tell you're a good husband and dad and and you're playing a good seeds, man.

David:

And not even in, in so much of your personal, but even your presence

David:

in the workplace is honorable.

David:

And respectful man, and how you treat others.

David:

And that's important as well.

David:

In your heart, man, speaks volumes how you deal with folks and the day to day.

David:

So I'm blessed and thankful to know you, man, professionally and personally.

David:

Yeah, man, I appreciate that.

David:

It's good to my heart.

David:

Yeah.

David:

Nah,

Brian:

just all the same for you and still

David:

gonna get you in white for cone.

David:

One of our date nights, we're gonna put another one together.

David:

Y'all ain't gonna, y'all gonna have to find the babysitter, but yeah, we'll

David:

find that's another big thing, man.

David:

Really trying to encourage marry folks as well, man, in this day to

David:

day, especially with young kids, man.

David:

I've been there before and it's important to know that people are rooting for you.

David:

And in supporting you cause marriage is tough brother, and really

David:

marriage is about being selfless and sacrifice, but most importantly,

David:

that's God's covenant brother.

David:

So we have to really understand what our roles and responsibilities are

David:

as God gives it to us so that we can be successful and to inspire others,

David:

to be purposeful in that covenant.

David:

So

Brian:

true and really in all aspects of it and just getting to the tail

Brian:

end of the show and all of that.

Brian:

But I always like to get an idea of any words of wisdom that you would deliver.

Brian:

And I like to deliver an certain type of question, right?

Brian:

So if you had the chance to talk to a young man, woman, yourself,

Brian:

whatever it be a young person.

Brian:

What words of wisdom would you drop now, knowing everything you've gone

Brian:

through, if it was just real quick billboard size, what would you say?

David:

It's okay to face your fears.

David:

It is okay to face your fears.

David:

You don't have to run from your fears.

David:

It's okay to face them head on.

David:

That's

Brian:

huge.

Brian:

Yeah.

Brian:

I think there's portions of ourselves that we're fearful who we're supposed to be.

Brian:

I know my own walk on my own journey and you've shared yours immensely

Brian:

with me outside of even the show.

Brian:

So you know, yours as well, and you're finding yours every day and that's the

Brian:

thing as well as the journey of it.

Brian:

But we're so fearful.

Brian:

What if I don't do what I'm supposed to do, right?

Brian:

Or what if I, they see me as a fraud or what if I don't fill

Brian:

the shoes the right way and just.

Brian:

Go face that, go figure it out, man.

Brian:

Go face, go ask those questions with it, standing in your

Brian:

face and don't run from it.

Brian:

So that's huge.

Brian:

That's huge.

Brian:

David, it's been legit.

Brian:

We've cut through almost an hour here, so I'm gonna wrap up the show,

Brian:

but it was a great time talking with you and everything that you're doing

Brian:

now to be a support and be a voice.

Brian:

And then also to create this space for others to be vulnerable.

Brian:

And like we've talked about intentional and just authentic and who they're

Brian:

supposed to be and what we go through as humans in this world, it's just it's we

Brian:

don't have to put up these two faces or these two different alternate realities.

Brian:

If I'm, oh, I'm the corporate.

Brian:

Broken and hurt and unhealed version of myself that I keep stuck away in a

Brian:

closet somewhere, but I'm both right.

Brian:

So I have to respect and condone you for everything you've

Brian:

done to step outward in that.

Brian:

And to do that in a place and even in an environment, like we said, corporate

Brian:

America, where it's tabooed, if you will, where it's not commonly seen.

Brian:

And you're breaking those molds and shifting and molding that

Brian:

there's not a work life balance.

Brian:

There's a life, right?

Brian:

I'm a human being.

Brian:

So you're doing great things.

Brian:

And it's been an honor.

Brian:

So again, thank you so much man, you know it, bro.

Brian:

And that's this episode of the art of mindset with your host, Brian Sage.

Brian:

If again, you're wanting to see more information.

Brian:

Prostate cancer or be contact with David Moffitt.

Brian:

There's information down in the show notes.

Brian:

It's worth checking out.

Brian:

It's worth reaching out.

Brian:

He's got a lot of information and a lot of ways to help.

Brian:

So if any of that resonates with you and then you find yourself

Brian:

wanting to fit, find out more, drop down into the show notes.

Brian:

And if you haven't already hit subscribe, hit follow we'd release episodes

Brian:

every Wednesday, 7:00 AM Eastern.

Brian:

And we always have an interesting guess for every episode and

Brian:

as always stay curious, keep

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The Art of Mindset
Find the Lost Art of Mindset deep in the minds of successful Leaders, Innovators, and Entrepeneurs from around the world

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Brian LeSage